


Time Shenanigans and a load of Bull

by verifiedSanctuary



Series: Post-Sburb Quests and Shenanigans [1]
Category: Homestuck, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: By the way this hasnt been looked over by a beta, Dave does ridiculous stuff, Dave ends up in the Underground, Dave is also literally immortal, Fas friendships, Fast Pace, Fluff, Has character death but, Ill try looking for then but, Im still trying to dave alright its hard when my mind is more dirk, Light hearty stuff, Long discussions of time travel at first, Multi, Plot What Plot, Some grimdark language, There will be a lot of mistakes, They resurrect anyway so idk what to tell you, This is also very lighthearted please bear with me, Writing on a whim, and Jade, bluh bluh happens, eh, flowey is being creepy again, i dont do irony like how do you even, i dont know, if its even irony, irony vs puns, platonic fluff, sans is confused, seriously how, shennanigans ensue, so like, tags later lol, what
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2018-07-27 02:40:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 20,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7600291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verifiedSanctuary/pseuds/verifiedSanctuary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave is arguably hella confused when he ends up on a bed of flowers.</p><p>Frisk is secretly glad that they have a companion to talk to. Chara was nice, but then. Ghost. on the plus side, Dave was amusing to watch.</p><p>Flowey was at his wits end.</p><p>And through it all, a forgotten scientist laughs through it all.</p><p>Meanwhile...</p><p>"What the fuck is my life even. Just. Does this always - <em>shit!</em>"</p><p>*You cheer Dave on. He can do it!</p><p>"<em>No I fucking can't, oh god, put that down, <strong>how many of those do you have woman!?</strong></em>"</p><p>[NOTICE: This is put under hiatus because my computer has, once again, broken down. Updates will resume in a few months. Maybe.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Falling into...wait where the hell is the reception?

**Author's Note:**

> Bluh BLuuuuuuhhhhhh
> 
> Hiya, first time posting here and I'm really excited!
> 
> Hope y'all like it!
> 
> Also this is to get a feel of AO3, so do forgive me if I can't make it the best on my first try, its quite different from Wattpad and Fanfiction ^^'
> 
> WARNING: I'D LIKE TO ADD THAT I MESSED UP THE CANON FLOW OF EVENTS SO IT MAY SEEM A LITTLE TIME SKIPPY AND I APOLOGIZE. I rechecked the map and realized I missed a TON of events that followed and have tried to cover the plotholes as much as I could (this goes for snowdin because omg I butcherred up the puzzles by not INCLUDING them entirely.)
> 
> Rest assured, I'll fix it as much as I can with decent explanations and cutscenes and other nefarious plots but please understand that I've already written things thus far and I can't really take them back so I'm trying to connect it and add new stuff to make it logical. Sorry for the inconvenience though!

_Goddamit_ Were Dave’s thoughts as he stood up from where he landed.

Where the hell was he? One moment he was chilling with Karkat and Jade, the next thing he knew he was falling in air.

Now, being god-tier and all, he could’ve just flied back up, bur for whatever reason, something was preventing him from doing so.

He stood still for a moment to check if his powers were still there. Yep. The gears were turning. He still felt that faint flow of energy, waiting to be released.

It must be something about this place that was making Dave incapable of flying.

Dave checked himself. Looks like he was wearing a new set of clothes. He was about to check his sylladex if he had any spare weapons he could use, but was thrown in for a surprise.

Instead of his sylladex popping up, he was greeted with a mini inventory thing with a limited space of only 8 items. So lame.

“Might as well see where this thing takes me…” He told himself as he picked on a stray leaf that his sweater caught. The sweater didn’t look like much really, it was a pale red with two thin stripes going horizontally across his body, and the familiar red cog of his aspect, time, in between the two lines.

That didn’t mean it wasn’t as comfy as fuck. Man, he was going to make sure Karkat saw this shit. It was too ironic and comfy to pass up.

Maybe Egderp would like it too. Speaking of which, Dave searched around his pockets – was he wearing shorts? With high knee socks too! The fuck? – to see if he had anything on him.

He felt a familiar cold box on his fingertips. At least his iPhone was still there.

Walking towards the only exit, a dark hallway that lead to this entrance thing, he tried calling his bro.

“ _The number you have dialed is not within your reach. Please try going to another section and contact the number from there._ ” Shit. Oh well, not much he could do.

Dave silently wished for his sword, though. What he would give for a weapon.

“Howdy! I’m Flowey!” Dave’s eye slightly widened behind his shades.

_To be continued..._


	2. That is one weird face...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! To whoever told me that this was a start good crossover, thank you so much!  
> Anyway, I'd like to make a few things clear here; In case you were wondering why I have short chapters, It's because I like to break it down into parts? Yeah. Hope you don't mind.
> 
> To each their own, right?
> 
> Enjoy!

“Howdy! I’m Flowey!” Dave’s eye slightly widened behind his shades. Okay, talking flower. While weird, it was definitely not the weirdest he’s seen.

“You’re new to the underground, ain’t cha?” It asked. Dave crossed his arms and looked around.

“Is that what this place is called? Cool.” Flowey looked a tad bid confused. Were humans always this talkative? And where was Chara? They should’ve been the one here, not this guy. Flowey shook his head. He would worry about it later. Besides, it was probably one of Chara’s plans.

“Down here is where monsters all live!” Flowey continued. Dave tilted his head the slightest bit, showing his curiosity.

“Monsters? Like the things that kill humans and shit?” Flowey cringed at the crude language. Such a mouth too.

“Oh, I assure you, we are nothing like those kinds! In fact, since you seem to barely know anything, how’s about I teach you how things work around here?” Did the flower just insult him by literally saying he knew nothing?

Not waiting for a response, Flowey entered a FIGHT with the male human. I.e., surroundings disappearing and entering a grid like battle area.

Dave took a slight step back out of sheer shock. _Um, what?_

But of course he regained his cool, moving his other foot along with his first so it looked like he was just admiring whatever scene he was supposed to admire. That didn’t even make any sense to you, the reader, but hey. This was Dave. He was hella confusing as he normally was.

Dave took note of what was in front of him. Four buttons floating in the air, labeled FIGHT, ACT, ITEMS, and MERCY. He quickly guessed that he could choose not to fight, if the MERCY and ACT buttons meant anything.

What stood out for him, though, was the candy red heart floating a few inches in front of him. It was emitting a faint glow, that would’ve forced Dave to squint had he not been wearing his shades. Thank god for the shades.

~~No, shut up. The shades didn’t remind him of the Egderp, and the heart certainly didn’t remind him of his Karkitty.~~

…

You never read that last part. You never realized it was there.

Moving on.

“See that heart? That is your SOUL, the very culmination of your being! Now, your soul starts off very weak – hold on…” Flowey stopped his statement short as he observed the human’s stats.

**DAVE**

**LV 10**

**HP 50/50**

**ATK 10 (+20 if CALEDFWLCH is used)**

**DEF 15 (+30 if CALEDFWLCH is used, + 10 if KNIGHT OF TIME OUTFIT is equipped)**

Interesting…This human seemed to have killed someone already…

On the other hand, Dave, who was also checking what he noticed the flower was checking out, looked a bit surprised at his stats.

_Level 10? C’mon, that was really low… or maybe levelling up was hard? Who knew? And shit, if I had my sword with me, I could’ve made a big difference… oh well._

Without waiting, Dave ACTED and CHECKED Flowey’s stats.

**FLOWEY**

**ATK 19**

**DEF 0**

***Abomination, in the shape of a flower…**

“Wha – hey!” Flowey glared at him. Dave shrugged.

“You were checking mine, so it’s only fair I checked yours.” Definitely keeping an eye on that flower. It seemed friendly at first, but if his attack stat was anything to go by, this thing was dangerous.

Flowey rolled his eyes. “As I was saying, see that heart? That is your SOUL, the very culmination of your being. I was clearly wrong when I called you weak; you already reached LV 10! Makes me wonder who you killed…” Dave narrowed his eyes behind his shades. Definitely not friendly. Flowey thought the human hadn’t heard the last part, but Dave being a Strider, of course he did.

His bro would have his ass if he didn’t hear something like this.

Not Dirk, but Bro. His bro.

Flowey continued. “Anyway! You must be wondering what LV stands for, right?”

“Doesn’t it mean Level?” Flowey snickered.

“No, silly! LV stands for LOVE, of course!” Something told Dave there was an underlying meaning to that. LOVE, as the flower calls it, was another acronym…but for what?

“You want some LOVE, don’t you? You could use some extra strength!” Flowey tried to persuade him. Dave raised an eyebrow skeptically.

“What would I need it for?”

“To defend yourself, silly!” Dave’s face shifted to a deadpan.

“I thought you said the monsters here were friendly. If that were so, I wouldn’t need to defend myself, would I?” Dave called it. Something was definitely up.

Flowey sputtered.

“J-just in case! You never know when you might need it!” He reasoned frantically. Damn, this human was smart.

Too bad Flowey never realized this human wasn’t exactly a human anymore. But was Dave telling him that? Hell no. He was ready to drag this on for as long as he could.

So Dave just nodded once. It’s not like this flower could do anything, right?

Well, the stats did say his ATK was like, 19, but how could a flower achieve that?

You know what, screw it. He’d figure it out sooner or later.

“Alright flower, whaddaya got?” He rose an eyebrow at him. Flowey grinned.

“Down here LOVE is shared through little white…friendliness pellets!” Flowey told Dave. Dave rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Yeah, no. I call bullshit here.” He said. Flowey was astonished. Who was this human?

“Well, it won’t hurt. So show me what these ‘friendliness pellets’ are, if they are even called those in the first place.” Dave challenged the flower. Flowey smirked inwardly. Hey, he wouldn’t take a gift horse in the mouth.

“These are my friendliness pellets!” A group of white bullets surrounded him. Flowey grinned. “To gain LOVE, you’ve gotta catch them all! You ready?”

“I’m still calling bullshit but sure, whatever floats your boat man.” Dave shrugged, raising an arm. Flowey wanted to roll his eyes.

“Okay, go!” The bullets floated towards Dave.

Maybe a few wouldn’t hurt. He’s suffered worse, after all. He stood still.

**FLOWEY attacks with FRIENDLINESS PELLETS!**

**You took 0.19 damage!**

Flowey was stunned. Usually he gave more damage than that! Who the hell was this guy?!

“Well that _really_ fucking hurt. Like, oh man, I might just die right now. Someone, please save me, I’m getting killed by this really weird as fuck flower, who looks like he’s getting annoyed, oh wait, he IS.”

Dave was the sass master.

John wouldn’t convince him otherwise. (Rose took the spot of Sarcastic Queen)

“Oh, you think you’re _so_ clever, don’t you?” Flowey sneered. Dave shrugged.

“Never really had a reason too, but sure, lets go with that.” Flowey looked even more angry.

“Alright! I’ve had it with you! No more mister nice Flower! D I E.” Flowey’s face became more creepy, laughing a maniacal laugh. Dave tried not to look disgusted. Hey, it really looked weird, who the hell could blame him?

A ring of pellets surrounded Dave. He looked at them with a bored face. If five pellets that hit him could only do 0.19 damage, and also taking in critical hits, he’d say he would only get about 10 damage to his 50 HP. That didn’t sound too bad.

Flowey, getting more frustrated over the fact that Dave didn’t even LOOK scared, growled. How the fuck does a flower even do that? Dave thought flowers were supposed to be happy and magical and shit.

Before the pellets could hit Dave, though, a fireball hit Flowey. He screamed something that sounded like ‘not again!’ And just…disappeared.

“Oh dear, another one? Poor child, getting tortured by such a terrible creature…It was a good thing I came back to check, isn’t that right my child?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! That was slightly longer...  
> Oh my god I haven't finished the Ruins arc yet...  
> Expect long AF days and weeks before I update. Seriously, I'm not kidding.  
> Have a splendid day!


	3. Goat Lady is huge like what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the reviews!  
> Also, yes, Dave is immortal, but literally, IMMORTAL. He can't die from anything, anyone. Not the limited version.  
> Though they can only resurrect in under ___ seconds. It was kinda a reward for completing the game, in my own headcanon.  
> Because I have this thing in my head that since they created the universe they get to see how it evolves. And watch over it. I never want to abandon it.  
> So yes, Dave will die, but...He'll just pop back up in ___ seconds. Simple.  
> Hope that clears it up! Sorry if you were disapointed  
> On to the Goat mama loves!  
> Although We won't be seeing much of her, sorry y'all. Her moment will come.

“Oh dear, another one? Poor child, getting tortured by such a terrible creature…It was a good thing I cam back to check, isn’t that right my child?”

To say Dave was surprised wasn’t really something to be understood. Striders NEVER got surprised. Nope.

Okay, maybe he was a little shocked. Who wouldn’t, when you were staring at a humongous as fuck goat lady that stood in front of you?

Oh and the little kid with her too, he guessed.

“Sup.” He raised his hand in greeting. The child with the curious cut (that wouldn’t help Dave decide what this kid’s gender was, seriously like what the fuck) was staring at him curiously, like he was some sort of anomaly in a well written plot. Dave suddenly realized something.

 _Shit…Am I fucking up this world’s timeline? I’ll go take a quick check…_ He paused time and sifted through the familiar gears in his head.

Nope...Nah…Looks like he wasn’t doing anything wrong. Perhaps a new timeline was born when he stumbled upon this place?

He’d ask Aradia later.

He replayed time and stared at the goat lady.

“Hello, dear child, how did you come across this place?” Dave was about to say a sentence full of swears, but reconsidered once he thought of the motherly aura the goat lady was giving and the child.

“I just appeared here, I guess. I mean, I met that flower, but he didn’t really hurt me that much. Like, seriously? He’s considered a threat? You’ve gotta be kidding with me man.” He spoke. The lady looked surprised to hear this human talk, but smiled anyways.

“Well, if you’re sure. I am Toriel, caretaker of these Ruins. I come by here everyday to see if another human has fallen down. Though I was supposed to check back tomorrow, I heard a scuffle going on. So I took this child back here with me to check once more. And here we are!” Toriel giggled a bit. Dave smirked.

“Nice to meet ya, Toriel. Name’s Dave, Dave Strider. Resident coolkid, master of façades.” He saluted at her. The kid giggled. The moved their hands in rapid motions. Oh shit the kid couldn’t hear or was mute.

“Oh fuuuuu-dge sticks kid, I don’t know ASL. Sorry.” He shrugged helplessly. Frisk smiled patiently at them and pulled out an old looking cellphone. They gestured towards him and the phone while Toriel watched with a smile, loving to see the children interact. Dave took a moment to figure out what the kid was trying to say.

Then it clicked. He fished his pocket for his iPhone 6 (Dirk reverse engineered one for him) and waved it lightly. “You want to get my number so we can just text?”

The child nodded excitedly. Toriel looked curious.

“What kind of phone is that, my child?”

“Toriel, I kinda have a name...” Dave reminded the goat. She looked embarrassed.

“Oh dear, do forgive me, I am so used to calling young children, well, children.” Dave shrugged again.

“Its fine man, but I’d really appreciate it if you would call me Dave.”

“Of course.” Toriel smiled warmly. The kid was sticking out his tongue  trying to type their number out for Dave. Once they were done, Dave reaccepted it with a thank you.


	4. First Pesterlog Conversation is Dave being confused. Maybe.

The kid was sticking out his tongue  trying to type their number out for Dave. Once they were done, Dave reaccepted it with a thank you and immediately received a message.

[calmPacifist began pestering turntechGodhead]

CP: My name is Frisk.

CP: It’s nice to meet you, Dave!

TG: you too frisk

TG: say

TG: why arent you talking anyway

TG: i mean if its a sensitive topic i wouldnt mind if you wanted me to stop

TG: but i really am curious

CP: Oh, no.

CP: You wouldn’t offend me in any way Dave!

CP: I just prefer not to talk, is all…

TG: so a selective mute then

CP: Yes!

TG: aight cool

CP: Do you mind keeping this tab opened? It’s the only way the both of us will communicate if we’re going to go together.

TG: sure

TG: but

TG: go where exactly

CP: You’ll see.

Dave nodded at Frisk and held out his hand. Frisk happily took it and dragged him towards a passageway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I... I couldn't help it.  
> Grrr..... by the time you're caught up to what I'm writing right now, (Dave is hella confused after RELOAD part), I'll have no motivation whatsoever.  
> Sigh...  
> Can anyone help me? I mean give me ideas.  
> Because I'm dying here.  
> Also I apologize for the short chapter, I'm breaking my story down into parts.  
> If anyone can give me a scene with future characters, that's be pretty sweet.  
> Also, I haven't explored the Underground, so I don't know jack shit about where to go and what to do so if someone could give me a heads up that's be cool as well.  
> Thank you!


	5. Puzzles

Dave nodded at Frisk and held out his hand. Frisk happily took it and dragged him towards a passageway.

“These are the RUINS. Here, you will find lots of puzzles. I hope you are acquainted with them, Dave.” Toriel kneeled  before him, to reach his pathetic height of 3 ft. Looks like this place shrunk him down to a kid, too. Goddamnit.

“Sure why not. I mean I’m no expert but I think I can handle most stuff.”

He replied. Toriel clapped her hands.

“Wonderful! Why don’t you try this puzzle out?” She led them to the next room, with several pressure plates on the floor and a sign to the left of a door with spikes activated and a switch to the right.

Dave read the sign. “…both walk not the middle road, huh…” He looked at the plates. He thought for a moment and stepped on four plates, making a square, missing the ones in the middle. He flipped the switch.

It worked. Toriel was obviously happy. Someone could take care of Frisk while she was away!

She and Frisk watched as Dave solved the puzzles effortlessly. They also were surprised when Dave went through the multitude of spikes with cautious ease when they themselves had to be led by Toriel.

Soon enough, they were finally left alone to explore. The monsters in the RUINS seemed to like Dave, and he had given Napstablook advice on his music. They’d never seen the ghost so happy.

Dave also seemed like a good fighter, if the way he dodged was any indication. He didn’t seem like he had any ill intentions for the monsters, in fact he seemed like he was used to this…

 _That human sure is weird…_ Frisk hears Chara say. ~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yah. So.  
> Sorry for not updating as much?  
> Also I'm kinda balancing a 18+ fic and ADKoB at the moment, so apologies if I don't get to update this as much.  
> For anyone in Quotev, hi! I'm verifiedSanctuary there, still, I know XP but it would be nice to talk to someone for a change!  
> Hope you enjoyed!  
> And by the way I might make some short panels of this, so do forgive me if they lack a bit, I'm more on traditional art, but hey, I do digital too! Just not as quick as traditional. But yeah. Expect pictures and colored panels.


	6. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OHHHH NOOOOOOO THE RESETS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aight, I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING
> 
> I HAVE THESE TWO OTHER STORIES AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER BITCHY PROBLEMS THAT NEED MY ATTENTION AND IM JUST UUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRGHHHHH
> 
> NOT TO MENTION THE WIFI BROKE DOWN...now I'm freeloading off a friends internet to make it up to you...
> 
> Don't hate me senpai XD
> 
> Anyways, enjoy this chapter that's waaaaaaaaaaaay too late for my own liking >.>

****

Dave also seemed like a good fighter, if the way he dodged was any indication. He didn’t seem like he had any ill intentions for the monsters, in fact he seemed like he was used to this…

 _That human sure is weird…_ Frisk hears Chara say.

 _Is he? I think its cool._ Chara snorted. _I didn’t mean it like that, Frisk. They’re just…strangely powerful. Check their stats._

And check did Frisk do.

**[ACT: CHECK DAVE STATS]**

**DAVE**

**LV 10**

**HP 50/50**

**ATK 10 (+20 if CALEDFWLCH is used)**

**DEF 15 (+30 if CALEDFWLCH is used, + 10 if KNIGHT OF TIME OUTFIT is equipped)**

…what was CALEDFWLCH?

CP: Dave, what’s CALEDFWLCH?

Dave stopped walking once he read the text. He looked at Frisk.

…

CP: …Dave?

TG: caledfwlch was my main weapon

TG: cant find it anymore

TG: why do you ask

CP: What kind of weapon was CALEDFWLCH?

TG: it was a sword

TG: i usually called it the legendary piece of shit when it got broken in half

TG: a stupid mistake i did

TG: nothing too special

Frisk winced at the curse a bit. Dave mentally cursed. He wasn’t supposed to type that. Damn.

TG: sorry

TG: didnt mean to say that

TG: its not gonna happen again

TG: i think

TG: man i dont even know

TG: like

TG: hell

TG: what am i even supposed to be doing

TG: besides all the puzzles that never seem to end

CP: It’s fine, Dave. People slip up all the time.

TG: wait

TG: how the hell would you even know what ‘shit’ was?

TG: youre a kid

CP: Adults never were that nice to me Dave. Neither were teenagers.

CP: I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say those things around here though.

TG: why

CP: From what I’ve learned, Monsters in the Underground are really friendly because they only have their souls, filled with love hope and compassion.

TG: from what youve learned

CP: Yes, is there a problem?

TG: you tell me

TG: it shouldve been your first time here

TG: so unless youve been messing with things you really shouldnt have

TG: well

TG: i wouldnt know how to explain a thing like this to the others

Frisk tensed and so did Chara. Was he able to feel the RESETS?

[patientCalamist switched with  calmPacifist]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I apologize, I dropped my laptop and the screen broke TvT
> 
> Rest assured though, I have not _and will not ever think of_ not completing this.
> 
> Just you wait. _I SO WILL UPDATE THIS!_
> 
> I just...really need to wait for my computer to get fixed. As previously mentioned, it has my shit in there...
> 
> And a question, are people okay with Dave telling Chara and Frisk about his Sburb past so early? Like...3 or 4 chapters from now? From what I last remember I was making Dave tell them a bit of a backstory about himself.
> 
> So?


	7. Dave is surprisingly open; Chara is suspicious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave explains and Chara is feeling curious. Long pesters ensue. I think.

Frisk tensed and so did Chara. Was he able to feel the RESETS?

[patientCalamist switched with calmPacifist]

PC: How do you know about Frisk’s resets?

TG: woah

TG: dont think weve met

TG: i mean if i had to look

TG: looks like you switched with the kid or something

PC: Yes, but I would appreciate it if you would stop changing the subject

TG: woah hey i wasnt trying anything

PC: Really now.

PC: How would you know that Frisk RESETS then?

TG: is that how you travel around time

TG: cause if it is then damn

TG: that sure is one weird way to go about it

PC: Our way of ‘traveling’ is very limited.

PC: We can only RESET or RELOAD on certain moments in time.

PC: But yes, we go back in time.

TG: you dont go to the future though

PC: No.

PC: We wouldn’t have the ability to.

TG: i just hope youve been making sure the timelines dont go FUBAR

TG: wait i didnt get your name

PC: Chara

PC: And timelines? We RESET the world back to the way it was.

TG: no

TG: time cant work like that

TG: like ever

TG: most you can do is make new branches of the same timeline with different results

TG: and to make sure they dont go to shit

TG: well

TG: youd have to loop some timelines together

TG: and connect them to the alpha timeline in someway

TG: otherwise they end up doomed

TG: usually you know a timeline is doomed when certain people die

Frisk and Chara both were shocked.

PC: I’m sorry, what?

PC: Doomed Timelines?

TG: yeah

TG: wait wait wait

TG: so

TG: you mean to tell me you time traveled back to the past with those resets and reloads

TG: but never knew how it would effect the time and space paradox

TG: what the fuck

TG: then why would you reset/reload in the first place

TG: hold on wait

TG: reset and reload sound like options sound a lot like game reload options

TG: when a player dies one way or another

TG: if i were to base it off that

TG: oh god no why the fuck

TG: i had Egbert to deal with

TG: now this

TG: why couldnt the game cut me some slack

TG: why

PC: Pardon?

PC: Game?

TG: oh right sburb

TG: long ass story im tellin you

TG: lets leave this for later

TG: tori just texted me something about butterscotch and cinnamon

TG: how much do you bet shes making something

PC: Ah, yes. The Butt Pie.

TG: the what

TG: butt pie

TG: oh my fuck

TG: I am going to get john or jane to cook that

TG: no way am i going to miss out on that

PC: Shall we get going then?

TG: yeah sure

TG: nice meeting you chara

PC: Likewise, Dave Strider.

TG: call me whatever i dont really care

PC: Alright Strider.

TG: aight cool

Frisk and Dave proceeded to move on. Along the way they collected a multitude of stuff. Dave found his sylladex and explained how it worked to Frisk. Chara and Frisk were amazed, they had never had any inventory that had more than 8 slots before. And it was customizable too. Feeling a bit generous, Dave gave them John’s sylladex which was gifted by his father to them with about 50 cards along with it.

They all stopped at a somewhat withered and blooming tree. At that very moment, Frisk’s phone began to ring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I BRING TO YOU THE UPDATE I HAVE BEEN PROMISING BECAUSE WOOOO I GOT MY LAPTOP BACK YEAAAHHH PAAAARRRTAAAAYYYYY
> 
> Bring out the drinks!
> 
> Actually no don't I'm not legal yet ahahahahhaaha~
> 
> But do drink some iced-tea and accept a cookie! I've kept you lovelies waiting long enough ;)  
> On the other hand _oh my **god**_ I have to deal with **this** shit again? _Seriously?_ Fuck coding...my back will hurt...Also I forgot _dammit_


	8. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I finally got to the right-before-snowdin part down, but you're still a long ways from reachin it.  
> Enjoy the chappie! hehehehuehuehue

Frisk and Dave proceeded to move on. Along the way they collected a multitude of stuff. Dave found his sylladex and explained how it worked to Frisk. Chara and Frisk were amazed, they had never had any inventory that had more than 8 slots before. And it was customizable too. Feeling a bit generous, Dave gave them John’s sylladex which was gifted by his father to them with about 50 cards along with it.

They all stopped at a somewhat withered and blooming tree. At that very moment, Frisk’s phone began to ring.

 _Hello my child. I-_ “Hello my child. I-“

“Tori…el. We’re right here.” Dave waved casually. Toriel looked sheepish.

“Oh dear, I apologize, I should not have left you for so long.” Toriel placed a hand to her chest. Dave and Frisk waved her off.

“Tori, its fine. I mean Toriel.” At Dave’s response, Toriel giggled.

“Feel free to call me any nickname, little one. I would not mind at all, really! Now come, I must show you something. I was surprised for the extra company, but I managed to improvise!” Toriel led them through a doorway to a homey…well, home. “Welcome to my humble abode, children. And I have one more surprise…” Toriel brought two slices of what looked to be pie from behind her back.

“Surprise! Here is my specially made Butterscotch Cinnamon Pie!” Dave raised a hand.

“I so called it.” Toriel blushed.

“Yes, I suppose I had made it blaringly obvious, hadn’t I? Well-“ She stopped her sentence short and Frisk shot Dave a knowing look.

“Is something burning…? I – well, um, make yourselves at home!” She dashed off to what Dave assumed was the kitchen. He looked at Frisk.

TG: so what do we do now?

CP: We explore our room of course!

CP: Or rooms, if mom spared the other room.

TG: woah wait

TG: she was your mom

CP: Yes! Previously, anyway.

TG: another time shenanigan?

CP: Well, it happens every time I choose to go live with her every pacifist run.

TG: pacifist run

TG: we really need to have that talk

CP: Okay. Let’s go to ‘my room’. We’ll get more privacy there.

Frisk led Dave to a red room. They sat down on the floor letting Dave take the bed.

TG: so what is it with your version of time travel?

CP: To be honest the very first time I fell down here I wasn’t sure as well. All I knew is that I had them and they could save my life.

TG: no kidding

CP: But as I went farther and farther and RESETTED a few couple of times, I learned a lot.

CP: First off, there are three main routes or ‘timelines’ as you and another friend of mine calls them.

TG: okay what are they?

CP: The True Pacifist, the Pacifist Neutral or just Neutral, and the…

TG: genocide

CP: H-how?

TG: it all fits

TG: you were going from good-bad

TG: so if I were to assume it off that and your hesitance

TG: its pretty f

TG: freaking obvious that it would be genocide

TG: because you save everyone in pacifist im guessing

TG: so you do the opposite in the last one

CP: Nice save there.

CP: But don’t worry about swearing around me. Just don’t do it around monsters.

TG: nah man i cant do that

CP: And why not?

TG: cause youre still a kid

TG: and because youre a kid i cant swear as much as id like to

CP: You were swearing just fine a while ago

TG: yeah but that was because i was really stressed out then

TG: had to sort through some stuff

TG: so there

CP: Hmm…

CP: Well anyway, yes, those were the three paths I could take

CP: The Neutral route has the most variations

CP: Genocide has…well, depending on how you see it, as much times you’d need to RELOAD

TG: obviously

TG: you picked the hard route

TG: the bosses are going to get harder

CP: Yeah, right!

CP: And the Pacifist…well

CP: The two variations happen after MONSTERKIND is freed from Mt. Ebott

TG: is that what this whole place is called

CP: Tecnically, yes.

CP: Monsters call this place the UNDERGROUND

CP: And the UNDERGROUND resides under a mountain, Mt. Ebott.

TG: makes sense

TG: anything else

CP: Yes, actually.

CP: To reach these results I have to choose certain options

CP: I assume this is how timelines vary from each other, correct?

TG: you know for a kid who looks like ten and played from mud

TG: your vocabulary sure has a lot of words stored in it

CP: The librarians from above are really nice, Dave

CP: If I manage to get the monsters out of here, I should have you meet them.

TG: actually i dont think thats possible

CP: Why not?

TG: im from somewhere else remember

CP: Oh…

TG: dont worry i might come to visit

TG: ill think of a way

CP: Good!

CP: I don’t want to forget any of my friends

CP: And that includes you!

Dave held back the growing smile on his face at Frisk’s look of pure DETERMINATION.

TG: glad you care so much

TG: i mean we just met and all

TG: youre as sweet as sugar frisk

TG: i might get cavities

TG: like damn

TG: then id have to go to the dentist

TG: but then id have to refuse getting the cavities out

TG: because theyre proof that i witnessed you being sweet

TG: so for us id have to endure the pain

Frisk stared at the screen then at Dave.

The screen

Dave

The screen

Dave

The screen.

CP: How can you type that fast?!

TG: practice

TG: also i ran out of time a lot

TG: so i learned to type quicker than before

TG: more like got used to it

TG: but whatever

TG: could you tell me more about this place

CP: What would you like to know?

TG: maybe a bit of history to get us started

CP: Alright, well…

CP: Long ago, Monsters and Humans lived together in harmony.

TG: let me guess

TG: they waged war for whatever reason

CP: When is it not?

TG: man why are all humans so stupid

CP: You talk like you’re not one of us.

TG: thats cause im not

TG: not anymore

TG: ill tell you once your done with your story

CP: I’ll be counting you to that.

So engrossed with talking neither of them noticed Toriel peek in and giggle at the two. Well, Frisk never noticed her, and Dave simply noticed Toriel and acknowledged her with a nod. Toriel laughed softly and winked at him, then left them to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoooolyy shiiit I did not expect coding to be this easy now, what happened? Anyway, even if I reply to each and every review individually, I wanted to say THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND ENDLESS SUPPLY OF COMPLIMENTS!  
> THey make me blush every fuckin time, thank you. really.
> 
> Also, question; should I make a tumblr for this? I know its too soon but I want to know what people would think of having a blog dedicated to it. Like, I'm not going to make it NOW now, just planning and checking to see if no one had a problem with it.
> 
> Again, it MIGHT be a Q and A blog, since this here is the main story but really, its up to you guys whether or not I actually make it.
> 
> What do you say?


	9. SOULS and whatnot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alt Titles  
> Seriously long ass explanations that probably shouldn't be here  
> but i did them  
> be proud of me senpai  
> ahhh  
> Fuck  
> okay, enjoy the chapter because wooooh im at around snowdin rn  
> but like  
> you're not even in half my document  
> good luck fam  
> yer gonna need it

So engrossed with talking neither of them noticed Toriel peek in and giggle at the two. Well, Frisk never noticed her, and Dave simply noticed Toriel and acknowledged her with a nod. Toriel laughed softly and winked at him, then left them to talk.

TG: so

TG: whats next

CP: Right. The humans waged war with the monsters.

CP: Monsters lost, and so Humans locked them all up in here and sealed them with a barrier.

CP: And so, everything that falls down here can’t go back up.

TG: damn

TG: no wonder i couldnt fly right back up

CP: You can /fly/???

TG: yep

TG: comes with being a god

CP: I suddenly want to play this game you played

TG: dont

TG: it aint worth it

CP: Why not?

TG: well if you wanna play it fine

TG: but dont say i didnt warn you when some of your friends die in the process

CP: O-O

TG: exactly

TG: do you really want the world to end

TG: i sure didnt

TG: and look where it got me

TG: the bro who raised me dead

TG: and the post-scratch bro having to be decapitated by me

CP: Fair point…

CP: Well, anyways, Chara was the first human to fall here;

PC: Indeed, I was.

TG: cool

CP: And they were adopted by the royal family.

CP: But they fell ill one day.

CP: Chara told me this tidbit, but they poisoned themselves with buttercups after learning it was poisonous.

TG: man please dont tell me it was a heroic suicide mission

CP: It was

TG: ugh

TG: why

CP: Chara had learned that a monster or human could pass through the barrier with a soul of the opposite kind.

TG: why opposite

CP: The barrier was sealed with seven human souls

CP: Patience, Courage, Integrity, Kindness, Perseverance, Justice, and Determination.

TG: neat

CP: You also have the soul of DETERMINATION, but…

PC: Its strange.

TG: how is it strange

TG: like does it have some weird black tentacles about them

CP: Actually yes.

CP: Its quite disturbing…

CP: But that wasn’t what caught our attention.

CP: Along with having the color for PATIENCE, your soul has a few red…cogs? Moving and spinning around.

TG: I think I know why its like that

TG: but ill tell ya later

TG: anything else

CP: Oh right

CP: So Asriel, the prince using Chara’s soul, crossed the barrier carrying her body.

TG: wow

TG: please tell me this was a kid or something

TG: because thats a really stupid choice an adult would make

CP: Yes, Asriel was about Chara’s age, and mine.

TG: oh thank god

TG: he didnt know any better

CP: Well anyway, the humans assumed the worst and attacked Asriel.

CP: Asriel, despite Chara’s constant yells to at least defend himself, did not do anything.

CP: Chara told me once that Asriel was fully prepared to kill six other humans.

CP: But he didn’t go through with it because at that time, he realized he couldn’t kill these humans.

CP: It would only cause more problems.

TG: see this is why i dont like socializing with people like this

CP: I thought you had friends?

TG: i did but they didnt care about the world anyway

TG: rose john and jade were all homeschooled for different reasons

TG: rose because her mom was smart enough to teach her despite being drunk

TG: she could answer a college book in an hour im telling you

TG: john because he dealt with a bullying problem

TG: jade because she was isolated on an island and her grandfather died when she was six leaving her dog to take care of her

TG: her dog was perfectly capable because he was a first guardian

TG: but he was still a dog

TG: so jade kinda grew weird

TG: but a good weird

CP: You sound fond of her

TG: why wouldnt i be fond of my own girlfriend

CP: Girlfriend? You look so young

TG: frisk i started the game when i was thirteen

CP: But…you look like a ten year old!

TG: exactly

TG: im supposed to look like a twenty year old

CP: O-O

TG: yep

CP: …

CP: Moving on.

Frisk told Dave about the plan of gathering the seven human souls, including their own. Dave asks how they managed to free everyone while getting out alive.

Frisk simply grinned.

CP: You’ll see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okaaaay so this happened  
> I'm terribly sorry for not updating sooner even if i actually have more than this typed out  
> its just  
> a nightmare coding the text  
> like fuck  
> ugh  
> sorry  
> you dont wanna see my complaints  
> but onto good news! I'm planning on starting that blog soon, just...um...Make sure to visit and Ask Dave Harley blog, alright? I don't have many askers yet...if you just wanna pass it on, go ahead! Dave's pretty lonely and I'm still witing for that Rose Egbert of mine... anyways  
> i'll probs name the blog something along the lines of 'StuckUnderground' but i dunno...give me a better name that pertain to boh Dave and Frisk and you might just make my day :D  
> blogs right now:  
> www.harley-style.tumblr.com  
> www.ask-dave-harley.tumblr.com  
> pending blogs  
> www.stuckunderground.tumblr.com [THIS DOES NOT EXIST YET CALM DOWN]  
> but really, do leave me a comment because i love reading those :3


	10. Other stuff that may or may not have happened...who knows?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened during in between time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The good news is; I'm still alive.  
> Bad news, there is still a significant lack of internet.  
> More good news; I'm willing to make the blog soon :D as soon as I get the right mindset to do so.  
> Bad news; Again, no internet. It's so bad that I have to mention it twice.  
> But as always, I'd love a review!  
> I'll probably post this on FFN as well.

***You don’t recognize this plant. Neither do I.**

“It’s a…wait, I don’t know what that’s actually called.”

***Oh…it’s a sausage plant! Or at least that’s what it says in the book.**

“Yea, did say that. From now on I shall dub thee sausage king.”

***You wonder why I placed my hands over your ears. What the hell, Dave? Frisk may know cusses, but they sure as hell don’t know _ _that__.**

“Bluh. Better late than never.”

***That isn’t the point!**

“What were you trying to say, Dremurr?”

***Don’t even make me say it.**

“Say what?”

***Sau- NOPE.**

“Heh.”

* * *

"So...Toriel is a pun addict."

***What's the problem with that?**

"John would've loved her. I can almost imagine it...my worst nightmare."

***I ask you how he'll react to Sans, then...**

"Wait...there are more of the puns?"

***...Yes?**

"Gog-fucking- _dammit!_ "

* * *

 

***I remember this room...it used to be mine...though I rarely used it.**

"Why?"

***Huh? Oh, I wasn't really comfortable sleeping alone. I sneaked into Asriel's room every night. At one point I never really bothered with the room anymore.**

"Huh. You two sound really close."

***What gave it away?**

"Oh don't you sass me young..wait...what are you?

***DETERMINATION.**

"No, seriously. What -"

***DE.TER.MI.NA.TION.**

"Wow, okay."


	11. Shit just got real.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goat Mom is a fucking badass and you can't convince me otherwise. Also she's terrifying. Fuck.   
> -Dave Strider, Knight of Time, CoolKid Extraordinaire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Double update! Sorta.

“Oh hello children. Would you like to listen to a snail fact?” Dave watched silently as Frisk signed something to Toriel while Chara translated for Dave.

“Frisk is asking where the exit to the Ruins are.” They stated, sighing. Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Why are you upset?” Chara looked at him with a humorless smile. They didn’t answer immediately, looking at Frisk and Toriel; solemn.

“Ever since Az and I died, mom wasn’t the same anymore…She has to realize that if she loves someone, she needs to let them go. That’s what I was taught, anyway…” They trailed off a Toriel grew more and more distressed.

“I know it ain’t my place to say this, but people change with each experience they go through. I mean, shit, if the world was just perfect, then none of this would’ve transpired. Amiright?”

Chara looked to the side with a dark look, remembering the old routes they used to do with Frisk.

__Do you really…hate me that much?_ _

__Even if I disappear, this world will live on!_ _

__I still believe in you!_ _

__Why not settle this over a cup of tea?_ _

__Please don’t kill me…_ _

__I can’t afford not to care anymore._ _

**_**_If we really are friends…you won’t come back._ ** _ **

“…Stay here. I have to go do something.” Toriel rushed out of the room. Frisk gave Chara a thumbs up. The ghost nodded in response. Frisk grabbed hold of Dave’s hand and tugged him to the staircase he never inspected and let Frisk drag them downwards.

“This is the way to the exit?” Dave asked Toriel, who stopped walking.

“Go to your room.”

Frisk shook their head indignantly. Dave, free from Frisk’s hold – __damn the kid had a strong grip__ – crossed his arms.

“You can’t just keep us here like we’re helpless, Toriel.”

“You are helpless, and I will. Can’t you see that this is for your own good? Go upstairs. Now.” She resumed putting one foot in front of the other.

Dave looked at Chara. They had a look that said; ‘ _ _see?__ ’ And snorted.

“What is so funny?” Toriel narrowed her eyes. Dave squared his shoulders from its relaxed position and looked at her straight in the face.

“Oh you know, just thinking about how ****hilarious**** the Monsters of the Underground’s expressions would be if they found out that one of their kind, the kindest of all monsters to be exact, were kidnapping two __children__. Think of how scandalous that little bit of info would be. Shame, I still didn’t get my McDonald’s happy meal. Ironically, of course.” Frisk snorted and Chara looked confused. They signed something to Chara and the ghost’s eyes widened in realization and proceeded to roll their eyes at Dave.

 _ _I have to wonder, why the ironic statement though…__ Chara thought to themselves.

Toriel also looked confused for a moment but returned serious. She stopped at a wide area.

“This is your last chance, go back or else.” She threatened. Dave, having enough of her warnings because come __on,__  she didn’t expect them to be ****that****  stupid, right?

Yeah, she was a nice lady, but there was no actual connection between her and Dave. Frisk maybe, but him? He only met the goat lady today. They were ****not****  close. Plus she fucking left them to fend for themselves in the RUINS, which by the way were __still__  infested in monsters. Easy, but the sheer number of them were overwhelming…

“Go back where, home?” Toriel brightened up.

“Yes, home!”

“Home is above us, hence us trying to pass. Ring ring, police? Yeah, I can’t find my way back. I’m right underneath a mountain right now and the only way out is being blocked by a motherly goat lady. What should I do, chief?” Chara was rolling in the…air? Yeah, well, they were laughing their ass off. Frisk pouted playfully, not at all offended that Dave was kind of insulting their mom. They HAVE spent their days with Chara, whose insults never ceased to end. They meant well, but the sarcasm…

Let’s just say it was higher than Mt. Fuji.

“Fine. If you so insist, I will let you pass. However!” Toriel’s hands blazed aflame. Frisk blinked once, Chara mumbled ‘oh great, here come the fireballs…’, and Dave…

Was downright surprised; and a little impressed. It showed by his face, but not so much. His mouth was agape and his eyebrows were scrunched up.

Holy shit.

Toriel went from harmless and cuddly to fucking badass queen in no sweat. If this what monsters were like, then Dave was screwed. Really, severely screwed.

This wasn’t even ironic ~~bullshit~~ anymore. It was…well, there were certain degrees of irony in it, but still.

What the hell.

“Only, and only if, you are able to strike me down, will I let you through this gate.” She gestured to the doors behind her. She turned back to them.

“Let us begin.”


	12. shit goes down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Let us begin."

“Only, and only if, you are able to strike me down, will I let you through this gate.” She gestured to the doors behind her. She turned back to them.

“Let us begin.”

CP: At least it’s somewhat different now?

PC: Frisk, you of all people should know that if this happens there’s an anomaly within the timeline

TG: no there isnt

TG: checked when i met tori and you

TG: ie i paused time and stuff

TG: like a pro

TG: cause that’s what i am

TG: just so you know i paused time again

TG: so we could have this conversation

TG: dont thank me

TG: i dont need it

TG: a cool guy never needs words of thanks

CP: Why not? Gratitude is a form of courtesy.

TG: cause

TG: striders dont do that

TG: they know in their hearts

TG: and gogdamn that sounds cheesy but yknow

TG: irony

TG: anyway they dont need thanks cause they know deep within the pits of their calm heart

TG: that its being thanked

TG: and thats enough for us striders

PC: At least go back to the matter at hand…

TG: oh right yeah goat lady

Dave replayed the time once more and prepared to face Toriel.

****[ACT]** **

****[CHECK]** **

****TORIEL** **

****ATK: 80** **

****DEF:80** **

****HP: 800** **

****[*Knows what’s best for you.]** **

“Okay that is complete and utter bull, are you kidding me?” Dave groaned lightly. Toriel narrowed her eyes (damn she got large eyes, you cannot narrow eyes a second time).

“Fight me or go back!” Toriel raised her hand and levitated several flaming bullets. Dave hunched down and prepared to dodge her…flaming fireballs? Dave thought they were typical at first, but seeing it now…

_Holy hell…Why wasn’t there a flame-based aspect in Sburb again?_  He thought as she threw them at him and Frisk. He jumped, and to his surprise, he jumped higher than what he usually reached – eight feet because god-tier, ha fucking ha – about two feet higher than normal. So, ten feet.

Frisk, being a regular human, stared in awe as Dave passed them. Dave landed back on the ground with a grunt, sidestepping a stray fire ball.

“That all you got?” Toriel never said anything and continued to attack.

The battle droned on, Dave and Frisk dodging, Toriel continuing to launch fireballs at them.

Because Dave was taking up much of Toriel’s attention, she did not see both their health bars deplete quite deliberately. Actually, no one ever noticed Frisk’s HP go down below __five…__

****[ACT]** **

****[TALK]** **

“Toriel, let us through. We don’t want to fight.” Toriel’s hands blazed brighter than ever.

“Then you will never survive! Show me you are truly capable of taking care of yourselves!” In a flash, she threw a barrage of fireballs. Dave leaned far to the right, leaving Frisk to –

_SHIT!_

Dave watched in concealed horror as Frisk fell limp on the ground, soul growing faint each passing second.

He turned to Toriel who looked ready to cry, but her body wasn’t responding properly. He’d deal with Toriel later. Right now he –

_Shatter._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no excuse. i am so sorry. i tried. 
> 
> like, i honestly have a lot of scenes written out. it went as far as fricking SNOWDIN.
> 
> its just
> 
> ever since march or april, i couldn't access my files.
> 
> why?
> 
> because my computer's lcd connection broke.
> 
> what luck...
> 
> i really am sorry.
> 
> so for now, have non coded homestuck colors pesterlogs, and three new chappies.
> 
> i feel horrible for making you guys wait...


	13. yet another revelation...sorta?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dizzy, dizzy, dizzy.
> 
> mm. tastes like a reload.
> 
> Or: Dave's first time being taken through a save point.

_Shatter._

__What in the absolute fuck…__ Dave’s mouth went slack as Frisk’s soul shattered in front of him, a second too late in salvaging the pieces.

“…” Dave knelt in front of Frisk - well, what remained of them. He couldn’t say a word. Just…what?

The rest of the world suddenly blurred around him, and Dave found himself back in front of the entrance.

His eyes barely widened, but that really was Strider equivalent to hella fucking shocked. Because really, what in the name of fuck?!

*****You tap Dave’s shoulder to get his attention.** **

Dave whirled around to find Frisk waving happily. Chara was smirking.

**CP: Sorry Dave, did I scare you?**

**TG: hell yeah you did**

**TG: what the fuck**

**TG: oh wait**

**TG: right**

**TG: time travel**

**CP: Yup!**

**CP: Pretty handy, right?**

**TG: just**

**TG: dont scare me like that again jesus christ**

**CP: It’s a good thing Chara and I aren’t Catholic, huh?**

**TG: yeah but**

**TG: im serious**

**TG: no kid should ever go through what you have**

**TG: especially you**

**PC: I’ll have you know that Frisk and I lived for a long time in a weird sense.**

**TG: but you never got a chance to grow up**

**TG: did you**

Frisk and Chara did not remark on that fact. It was better left alone.

**CP: No…we always reset before we even got out of fourth grade…**

**TG: see**

**CP: Have you finished school, Dave?**

**TG: well i was 13 when things went down**

**TG: and im pretty sure i missed three years of it due to being on a meteor**

**PC: Is it a good idea to ask why exactly you were on a meteor, which, by the way, is apparently a *perfectly* safe idea to go sailing on for, I’m sorry, did you say three years?**

**TG: im here and im alive**

**TG: arent i**

**CP: Why don’t we just have Dave retell this scarily interesting tale of a game that I think destroyed his world?**

**CP: Did I get that right?**

**TG: yeah**

**TG: and**

**TG: sure**

Frisk tugged Dave to the entrance of Toriel’s humble abode once more.

“Man, how do you not get tired of doing the same shit over and over again? I’m already getting pissed over having to repeat this mind fuckery again. And it’s only been once.”Dave tapped his foot, he and Chara watching Frisk talk with Toriel about snail pie.

“I don’t know. It just feels so exhilarating watching all these events unfold, and trying to make a different outcome each and every time. Don’t you feel the same?” Chara glanced at Dave who sighed.

“You don’t know how frustrating time travel really is, do you?” Chara tilted their head like any child would, if with more sarcasm and intellect. Which was probably true in their case.

“Please enlighten me.”

Maybe.

“Nothing but trouble. Like I said before, you have to keep each timeline stable, or else they’ll veer off to become a doomed one. Sometimes doomed timelines and dead ones have their shitty way of biting you in the ass. I’m not even kidding.”

“How?” Dave tilted his glasses down slowly, giving the barest view of his eyes. (He was dead serious right now.) To say Chara was surprised was a bit off. Instead, they were intrigued by the same shade of red irises they shared with the blonde. Huh. Who would’ve thought?

“They just do. And if you keep creating these timelines without knowing what exactly will actually bite you in the ass, well. Good luck, is all I can say.” Dave shrugged.

“Hmm…Well, we’ve had out fair share in that department, I assure you.”

“That’s good.”

Chara looked at him questioningly. “Not going to ask about it?” Dave shrugged again.

“You looked uncomfortable talking about it. Like, you may try not to show it, but I can recognize from a mile away that from the way you narrow your eyes and you posture tensing a bit from the relaxed position, you really don’t wanna recount those memories. Its like a taboo, a forbidden action. Like, the ten commandments sort of dealie, you feelin’ me?”

Dave internally cursed himself for sounding a lot like Rose. Siblings indeed.

Then again the psycho analysis shit was taught by his bro, and by Dirk. Shit was crammed into his head like a fucking mini-van full of students on a field trip. Only less smelly and sweaty.

Chara looked a tad winded from the long-ass unnecessary (“man, it ain’t unnecessary!” *****Sure, Dave.**** “Goddamn it!”) explanation.

“I see. Well, I don’t mind talking about it per say, its just a conversation I’d rather have in private.”

They watched silently as Frisk helped Toriel cook dinner this time, starting a flour battle with her. Toriel was giggling with glee as Frisk signed various jokes to keep her distracted.

“Okay. One private chat, here we go.”


	14. their tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Story time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the last of the apology updates. I know i said four, but this was actually supposed to be two chapters, due to the length. and the pacing. yeah. i have a weird ass way of pacing shit.

“Okay. One private chat, here we go.” Dave turned tail and walked towards the room Frisk let him stay at.

“A room private enough?” He turned back to the amused ghost.

“I suppose.” Dave stared at Chara for a spilt second, the sentence and their snarky attitude reminding him of Rose.

Once they were inside, Dave floated up into the air, lying back, crossing his legs and putting his hand behind his head. Chara stared at him for a moment, but shook their head and floated beside him.

“So?”

“Hm…Well, should I start off with the first time Frisk and I chose to FIGHT?”

“Sure.”

“I’ll just shorten it down if you don’t mind.”

Dave made a noise of agreement, listening intently. Chara took a breath.

“It started when I was discussing the possibility of different choices leading to different results to Frisk.” Chara leaned back.

* * *

 

I asked Frisk; what if we chose the FIGHT button the next time, Frisk? At first they were hesitant, I understood, it isn’t easy killing someone, much less someone you knew. So I let off on the topic. But Frisk and I…we grew bored.

Yes, I know, really bad idea, but I didn’t know any better that time, so stop giving me that look.

Anyway, we RESET. The next thing we knew, we were turning every monster to dust left and right.

…Dave, there are literally only three to five monsters from a family that are easily fought. Yes, you’ve been running to the same set of creatures every time. Don’t be a petulant brat about it. Stop pouting.

Anyway, we reached Toriel’s fight. And we…killed her. Every time we killed a monster, there was this addicting power surging and swelling within us, just waiting to lash out. What? It’s the best way I can describe it, so hush.

It was…new. We got carried away. We killed most of our friends and…well.

We were unstoppable. But Frisk? They got a hold of themselves and pleaded with me to RESET. I was too far gone, so I didn’t listen. Yes, I know, I don’t look murderous right now. There’s an explanation for that if you would so kindly listen.

We reached the Hall of Judgement. You’ll see what it is soon, but yeah. We had killed nearly every monster then. Every monster who could fight, every monster that posed a threat against what we thought was our goal.

All except one. I’m not going to tell you who it is, but they’re really, really, strong. At first, we thought they would be easy to beat because they’d never been a problem in the runs we’ve experienced, aside from the casual death threat now and then, and added to the fact that they only had 1 HP. Do I look like I’m joking? No, they really had 1 HP.

We really had thought it would be simple. Slash them to dust and carry on to what we thought was the final Boss.

Turns out? They were THE final boss we had to take seriously. Because at that point, we were nearing the end. One more level until we had god-like powers. LV 20.

LV? Oh, that stands for LOVE, as you know, which stands for Levels of Violence. Why are you so surprised? Don’t joke with me I saw your jaw slack for a split second.

…Again, what does irony have to do with this? LOVE and Levels of Violence…oh. I get it now. Is that how irony works?

And yes, 20. You’re level 10, right? How’d you get such a high number? Oh, right. I understand, you don’t want to recount the tales. Sure. Anyway, that monster?

God, that battle was one of the trickiest, if I’ve had to say anything about it. Why are you snickering? Trickster? You are so weird. Anyway, what was different about the battle was; they didn’t follow the regular rules of a monster; a monster can’t dodge, but they could. It was surreal at first. But we got used to it.

And just when we thought we had them, they pulled other tricks up their sleeves. It was frustrating, but really, really, fun. What set them apart from any other monster was that they were creative and was nearly unpredictable. They also had those stupid teleportation powers of theirs. Well, no, they aren’t stupid, but the fact that they kept using them were. I couldn’t get a clear shot.

It took Frisk and I just about 500 RELOADS just to get on even ground with him. We were pretty determined then, but Frisk was faltering. With them faltering, I was as well.

But I pushed on. I was going to see the end of this. We might never have had the chance to. I wanted to feel that surge of power again, the adrenaline rushing through my body, the sweat and blood and dust surrounding me. It was worth it. Or at least, I thought it was.

The only thing that threw us for a loop was their special attack, if you could even call it that. The whole underground fights with a turn base strategy. Yeah, suck-ish, but rules are rules. Oh, you’re already used to them, you just don’t want to waste your time on them? Al…right?

Their special attack was…nothing. Literally nothing. It was our turn to dodge and they were the attacker at that moment. It was smart. Really well done. I did not anticipate it, and Frisk was too far gone to care about the battle in and of itself. But…

But if they could break the rules of fighting, so could we. Frisk didn’t try to stop what I was doing.

So I bade for time. I waited. Until they fell asleep. You see, we had drained him quite a lot during our fight. So obviously he’d sleep.

And slowly, I inched towards the FIGHT button. I killed them.

I went on and put an end to Asgore. Poor guy had never noticed I was human.

Irony again? I don’t get it this time. Hey, no, stop, don’t ruffle my hair, this is __serious!__

I took Asgore down. I saw Flowey as well. He was warning Asgore beforehand of my presence, but I had already heard him. When I slashed Asgore, he sent a multitude of his pellets on my father. I was hesitating. Could I really kill this him?

Dave, its much more complicated than that. You don’t know who Flowey really is, do you? He’s my brother, Asriel. Or, well, used to be. Experiments happened, Dave. I…don’t really want to recount those moments of my life. Thank you.

Anyway, I just closed my eyes – Frisk had gone deathly silent at that point – and slashed Flowey. That was the final straw.

I broke.

Luckily, not to broken enough. Frisk was able to snap me out of it, and then?

We slowly stopped. It wasn’t easy, but…we did it. We killed less monsters each run, and when we got to the Judgment hall?

We accepted their MERCY, only to be stabbed in the back. I know we deserved it, but dammed if I say it didn’t hurt like hell. It’s not a very fun experience to be stabbed from behind and in front, Dave.

And after that, we RESET. Again, and again. We grow bored…but I don’t think Frisk ever wants to resort back to what we did. Not anymore. Still, we’re trapped in the delusions of our own power…

Until now.


	15. dave's side

Chara looked at Dave. His face was as blank as ever. But if Chara had the mind to remove his shades, they would’ve seen the dark hue swimming through his eyes.

Frisk peeked into the room.

“Oh, hey Frisk.”

_I told him about the first genocide._ Chara thought. Frisk blinked, but nodded in understanding.

**[*You tell Dave and I that you managed to get Toriel to let you go.]** Chara said, surprised. Dave smirked.

“Well, that was some way. How’d you do it?” Frisk shrugged.

CP:I just talked to her once we were done cleaning up, one on one.

Dave whistled. “Sweet.”

Then and there Frisk noticed something they should’ve noticed before.

**[*Pff…You ask Dave how in the world can he fly, but then you realize he told you that you could fly before.]** Frisk pouted at Chara. The ghost shrugged and sent a small smirk at their host.

Frisk sat between them, on the floor. Whether out of pity or of convenience, Dave and Chara floated down until they were 3 inches from the floor. Hey, the air was comfy.

**[*You ask Dave when is he gonna tell you about his story. I’m curious as well.]**

Dave didn’t answer immediately. Could he risk telling these two?

“Strider, tell us. I’ve told you ours, it’s only fair.”

“That’s playing dirty.”

“I didn’t say I was clean.”

_Ah, fuck it._

Seriously, this was going to be a headache and a half.

“So, uh, I guess all this happened when my friends and I played – a stupid move to be honest – a computer game called SBURB,” he started, Chara and Frisk leaning slightly forward to listen in more. Dave’s voice went a tad more softer than before, though they didn’t know why.

Wait, you don’t know about computers, Dreemurr? That is like the saddest statement slash question I’ve ever heard in my entire life. And since I lived about 4 centuries before this, that’s saying something. Mark my words – See? You HAVE seen computers before. I’ve gotta thank this Alphys chick when I see her.

…Are you serious? You didn’t even know about the phone? Have you been living under a rock? …Okay, yeah, a mountain IS a hunk of rock ain’t it? But still.

Right, right, getting off track. Anyway, so when we played this game, loads of shenanigans happened. The point of the game was to create a new universe, but to do that, there are certain bullshit – I’m sorry there’s just no other way to explain it – requirements we had to fulfill. 

Like for instance, our ‘session’ – a session is a version of a game played by a certain number of players by the way – wasn’t exactly the right one. I think we had a…uh…I actually can’t remember the classification of our session, but all I remember is that is was impossible as hell, I’m telling you.

Before we get into the deeper parts, I think I should be tellin you bout them basics. See, the first step of the game is to end the world. Yup, as soon as you play SBURB, you summon three planets, Derse Prospit and Skaia – I’ll tell you bout those later – and consequently summon a good number of meteors which are supposed to head for Skaia but thanks to its defense mechanism those meteors were transported to land on your home planet instead. For the players not to end up into kebobs for lunch, they needed to find a quick escape. This is where the basic components of SBURB come into play.

So, second step is to do shit and make sure you’re not dead once everything is said and done. You get transported to what we call the inciphisphere, or was it the medium? Hell if I remember, its been really long like I said. You tend to forget small details over time.

Once you escape the end of the world, you have to pass seven gates in your new planet, that’s right the players get planets that are related to their title. Like, I’m the Knight of Time, so I get the planet Land of Heat and Clockwork, LOHAC for short, which contains my personal elements mixed with that of my aspect. I did say I was hot. What, don’t believe me? That’s harsh.

Anyways, I did quests, killed imps for grist, leveled up, and passed the gates. Well, I think the others did that anyway. I time hopped from place to place, looping currency so we’d be loaded.

Yeah, I know I said time travel was dangerous, but I didn’t know it back then. I didn’t really get the extent of my powers. Plus I had a Seer who makes sure everything goes smoothly, so it was controlled. Somehow. Along the way a lot of dead mes would pop up, but it wasn’t that troublesome.

So, like, after passing the gates I think you have to die, if your dreamself hasn’t yet. Why? Obviously to ascend to Godtier, or what you commonly know as godhood I guess.

The group of players have to meet certain things for the game to work. Namely, a time and a space player. The space player’s main purpose is to give way to creation to the new universe. A time player’s purpose is to provide a way to RESET the whole game if things go down the metaphorical drain. And that’s exactly what happened to us.

Of course, like any other game, we had to RESET, because we realized our game was fucked. I won’t tell you how, that would make this longer, and I think we have until tomorrow for this right? Right.

Anyway, the RESET was to SCRATCH a time player’s…well, the other time player I know uses music boxes to RESET, but mine was to literally SCRATCH the huge ass disc on my planet.

We succeeded in SCRATCHING, but like hell were we going to get affected as well. So we escaped like we were being chased by apes in Temple Run. I’m really going to have to tell you about 2015 soon, Dreemurr.

Rose and I ended up with our guides on a meteor while Jade and John broke the fourth wall – no I’m not even kidding, nor is this irony. She fucking broke the fourth wall and went through it. End. Of. Story. – And then we had to travel through the veil – which to be honest I don’t want to explain anytime soon – for about three years until we reached the new session.

The new session had four players that reflected us, rather our guardians. Mine was Dirk Strider, Rose’s was Roxy Lalonde, Jade’s was Jake English, and John’s was hot mamma Crocker – I mean Jane Crocker. Yeah.

They went through a bunch of shit we did as well, and this is taking too long so I’ll just wrap this up as quickly as possible. We were split up into a bunch of different teams, also John and Roxy came from a doomed timeline but they were still the alphas for some reason so that’s that. Anyway, we fought, we almost lost, but then we got through shit. I didn’t know how the other battles went, but me and Dirk ended the battle because I cut off his head and the other heads behind him. Believe me I was just about ready to puke but it was his idea in the first place, plus he had done this to himself too, according to him.

But anyways, we won, we watched the frog hatch into a new universe and/or multi-verse (because you guys are here) and helped with cultivating the land we now owned. Which is actually bigger than Earth so we don’t get overcrowded.

*Wow...you say, amazed by Dave’s story. It made little sense to you, but in a way that it made sense as well. 

*You had no idea how that worked but it was how you understood it so it was all good.

*Though I honestly think you would be ‘good’ with anything.

*What? It’s the truth, Frisk. Stop looking at me like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's it  
> im fucking done  
> nope


	16. at the point of the start

*****Wow...you say, amazed by Dave’s story. It made little sense to you, but in a way that it made sense as well.** **

*****You had no idea how that worked but it was how you understood it so it was all good.** **

*****Though I honestly think you would be ‘good’ with anything.** **

*****What? It** ** ****’s the truth, Frisk. Stop looking at me like that.** **

“Yeah, jacked up story, right?” Dave snorted humorlessly.

*****You begin to suspect Dave doesn’t really like talking about this, so he told you a long version in return for not asking questions in his wake.** **

*****You are quite fine with this, however, so you don’t mind. Plus, you wanted to show Dave the rest of the underground.** **

Frisk and Chara didn’t say anything. After letting Dave sit there for a few more moments, Frisk stood up and tugged at his sweater.

“Whoa, hey, kid – “ Dave weakly protested but honestly was glad Frisk decided to not do anything about his situation anymore.

Frisk dragged him out into where Toriel usually sat. She was at the dining table instead of the small couch however, and it looked like she was packing a few objects. Frisk knocked on the wall once, and Toriel spun around surprised. After blinking, her eyes seemed to soften in sadness.

“Ah, my children. You ought to be prepared if you so wish to face the outside world, should you not?” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Here,” She handed them two packs each. “You will need these. Inside is a small subspace for at least 10 items, and I have already occupied 3 with extra clothing, hot cocoa, and butterscotch pie.”

Dave froze. __What?__  He didn’t – this wasn’t – was this _supposed_ to happen? He didn’t remember Bro ever doing this for him when he first went to school –

_Rose looked at him with solemn eyes. “You, out of all of us, Dave, were brought up the worst. As strong and as selfless your brother may be, he ****never** **  raised you right. So it would be obvious that you don’t get the concept of simple affection.” At this she put a hand on his shoulder. _

_“But we won’t give up, David. **I will personally see to it,**  that you won’t have to live thinking that you don’t have anyone to rely on now.” He was about to oppose, but Rose held up a hand. _

_“Before you think of this as some sort of pity, it isn’t. I’ll do this because I **don’t**  like seeing you like this Dave. Not even Dirk denies physical attention, yet you seem to recoil from the mere mention of it.” She tells him bluntly. Hesitantly, and after a lot more persuasion, he gives in. _

_And the grins Karkat,  Rose, Jade, John, and hell even the **Alphas**  give him make it all the more worth removing his barriers. _

“Dave, my dear? Hello?” Dave flinched a bit from the paw waving gently in front of his face. He saw Frisk on the top of the staircase, looking concerned, while Toriel crouched in front of him, the owner of the white paw that snapped him out of his trip to memory land.

“Oh, sorry man, got lost in the memories up in here, ya know?” Dave told them, hand knocking his brain. He also noticed he had the sling bag around him now. Huh. He must’ve unconsciously put it on.

Toriel didn’t look convinced, but shrugged it off. She led them downstairs, explaining a bit about the history of monsters, which Frisk had known already but didn’t interrupt Toriel because Dave was listening intently.

(You never did know how much information you’d need.)

Once they arrived at the gates, Toriel reached down to their pitiful height of 3 feet.

“My children,” she began, Dave not correcting her (because she looked so serious and rule numero uno when dealing with motherly women was to never interrupt them when they were serious. ) “Outside of these gates lie the rest of the Underground, yours to explore and yours to decide. Usually I would make any human that tries to get out of these gates fight me, but you, my child,” Toriel points at Frisk “Has given me reason not to do so. However, I ask only one thing of you.”

She looked them both straight on, fiery passion burning in her eyes. Dave now realized why she was queen in the first place.

She didn’t bow down to anyone.

Again, hell hath no fury on a woman. Scorned or otherwise.

“Please, please have MERCY on the monsters here.” Surprise donned Frisk’s face. Wasn’t it usually ‘be good, my child’? Then again Dave was here so maybe he changed something, like how he said every timeline was different no matter how similar.

Time was hard to understand, much less master, Frisk realized with growing horror.

Toriel continued. “Of course, defend yourselves if need be, but every monster here is special. They do not use violence against others, and some are extremely fragile. While I may want peace with humans, my people come first.” Frisk and Dave nodded. Life was not to be toyed with, they learned in their own set of experiences.

“So I ask of you, please, do not hurt anyone unnecessarily.” She smiled sadly at them. Her smile had turned into that of the letter ‘o’, however, when both humans ran up to hug her, unseen ghost hugging her from behind as well.

“We’re going to miss you, goat mom.” Dave murmured. This was all too nerve wracking for him, especially the mere fact of having physical contact with someone, but with Toriel, Dave couldn’t care less.

She had grown onto Dave and he didn’t want anyone else to be his mom.

There was Roxy, but she was doting older mama bear sister more than anything.

Toriel fit the category of ultimate mom. Like seriously. Flaws and everything.

“Go now. Do not look back and come for me anymore, I would not be able to bear it. Be safe…” Toriel spared them a longing glance, then walked away from them, never looking back.

Dave was silent for a moment then turned back to Frisk and Chara, only to see the former quite concerned while the latter was…

Chara was crying?

Well, they weren’t bawling their eyes out, per se, rather, they hunched their shoulders and their back stiffened, as if forcing themselves not to cry. The lip biting was another factor to be considered, as well.

But of course…

Dave, while being able to look nonchalantly calm and collected on the outside, always had his mentality on overdrive, and prone to panic states; especially in very emotionally distressing situations.

This was most definitely one of those times.

_Okay, shit, ghosty’s crying, what the fuck do I do here?! I’ve never comforted a kid before, much less an incorporeal form who has live as much as I have._  Dave held back a grimace. He looked at Frisk, who shrugged helplessly. They hadn’t a single clue what to do, either.

“Uh, Dreemurr,” Dave stepped a bit closer, which ended up in Chara abruptly stopping their tears and looking him straight in the eye. A little __too__  close for comfort.

“You did not see anything.” They glanced at Frisk, who gave them an innocently confused look, then turned back to Dave, who was nodding dumbly.

“Consider myself obliviated then.” He said a tad softer than usual. He knew red eyes were uncommon, but this kid was the epitome of ‘creepy’ when they set their head into it. Though it could be a side-effect from being incorporeal. He wasn’t all into theorizing, so he didn’t try to glean more hypothesis from his already fucked up brain.

He did not need more stress thank you very much. He stuffed his hands back into his pockets after fiddling with his pack. He turned to them both.

“Well…alright, let’s keep going then. Lead the way, Frisk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna thank you all for being so damn patient with my pathetic ass. Just. thank you.  
> and to new readers, welcome to the grind- no im kidding  
> but like  
> i finally have the internet back  
> another reminder that there is a blog for this fic entitled stuckunderground  
> this story is also found over at Ff.net under Stuck Underground but its being updated less frequently.  
> thanks again for reading!


	17. mr. ray of sunshine, back at it again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I know what happened to you._

“Well…alright, let’s keep going then. Lead the way, Frisk.” Frisk flashed him a small grin and a quick ‘race- you!’ to the blonde before dashing off. Dave followed right after.

“No fair, bro. Warn a man next time, yeah?”

*****You stuck your tongue out at Dave.** **

“Eh,” Dave shrugged. “Suit yourself.” He disappeared with a crack and appeared a few feet ahead of the mute.

 ********* _ ** **Now** **_ ****who isn't fair?** **

“Payback is sweet, kid.”

*****You adamantly refuse to be called a kid when Dave himself is a kid.** **

“Your point being? I’m still three years older than you, squirt.”

*****You are not a squirt!** **

Dave and Frisk finally arrived at the end of the long hallway. Good grief, how long was that path? About 60 meters? Talk about a workout.

They passed through the gate, Frisk quietly ranting about how it wasn’t fair that while they were terribly exhausted, Dave did not even seem to be __winded__. Said boy shrugged.

“Take it or leave it,” he said in response. Frisk only pouted, which made Dave ruffle their hair in retaliation, sending Frisk yelping and grumbling.

All in all, it was a pretty pleasant moment.

All three came into view of an eerie patch of grass.

Out of it came Flowey, who began to mock them.

“Oh, so you think you’re _so clever_ , manipulating that woman into not fighting you just to get out of the battle. _****I know what happened to you,****_ ” he sneered. Frisk looked down at the ground a bit sullenly, not really liking it when Flowey brought up times when they died, but did not put up a fight as it was normal for them.

Dave was a different case entirely.

“Better than having someone who clearly cares about you to not fight you, but then I guess you wouldn't understand that, flower boy.”

Flowey hissed in response.

“I’m no flower boy, peasant! Learn your place.”

Dave raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Look who’s talking.”

Frisk had to giggle in response. _Says the one who is the flower._  Chara, hearing their thoughts, let out a snort before controlling themselves.

“Ugh, enough of your silly mind games! Be warned, _humans._ ” His tone was menacing, but Dave wasn’t affected, and neither was Frisk. Frisk’s expression was just hard to decipher at times, while Dave honestly did not give nigh a single fuck.

“You’ve chosen the easy way out, the coward’s way out,” Flowey continued. “But I wonder what would happen if some relentless murderer were to encounter you? Would you still SPARE them, like a total weakling, or will you F I G H T?” The flower laughed his usual creepy-ass laugh, before shooting back down into the ground and disappearing to somewhere someone like him usually disappears to.

Dave frowned for a minuscule second before going back to his default blank state. Frisk waved them over to the gate, finding nothing wrong with what had transpired, already having been used to the insults hurled at them. Dave automatically strode towards them, but his mind was elsewhere.

 _To be honest, I’d rather DEFEND. MERCY can only work so much, and if I really were against a relentless murderer… ** **well. I hope they know I won’t take anything standing down.****_  Dave’s eyes, had his shades been gone, would seem darker to anyone who saw them.

The gate opened with great effort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is either two or a day early, depending on your timezone, but seriously I am itching. If you haven't already known I've set a schedule on how I update these.
> 
> Once a month. Every tenth, or at least a date near it. Because yeah.
> 
> Leave a kudo and a comment. I live off comments. I want.


	18. camera, black blobs, the fucking stick. but first, lemme take a selfie!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was snapped in half.
> 
> "What the hell...Oh, fine, I'll hurry up. Stop pulling, geez."

The gate opened with great effort, and immediately they were attacked with chilling cold.

Dave, luckily having spent time over at LOFAF enough to get used to the cold, spent more time admiring the view rather than warming himself up like most people did. Frisk had spent enough time in Snowdin that they were quite used to the cold, finding it almost comforting, really.

Dave _really_  wished he had a camera right now. The way this pathway of soft, fluffy ice presented itself, along with the countless leafless trees looming overhead, it looked like a place of chilling mystery.

Why didn’t he have a came- oh. Wait. His Iphone.

He looked over to Frisk while he fiddled with his settings absentmindedly. They were waiting patiently for him, speaking a bit with Chara, exchanging brief words with the ghost. He had an idea.

“Yo, could you do me a favor and be a model for a quick minute?” He waved his phone at them, making Frisk don a look of gleeful understanding whilst Chara looked on curiously, wondering what the two humans wanted to do this time.

* * *

  _In the bushes, a camera relayed whatever was happening to the two humans to a giant computer with a monster in a labcoat watched with intent._

_“These humans sure are having a lot of fun…I’m jealous. I could never be that carefree…” The monster thought to herself, pulling her eyes away from the screen to the piles of paper scattered among the fanart she had drawn personally._

_“They seem nice, but ultimately, we still need them…one of them, anyways…”She muttered. She was conflicted._

_Was she to tell Undyne about this or not?_

* * *

 Back to where the humans were, a hooded figure watched on with suspicious eyes.

 ~~ _Omytohiomh…_~~ The blob muttered in a strange language. He inspected the shaded boy more closely.

 ~~ _Ejsy drvtryd fp upi jpaf, upimh pmr? O trvsaa upi gtpz s bsdyau foggrtrmy yozraomr…s vtpddpbrt, O nraorbr oy esd vsaarf._  ~~  He mused, sitting on a rock that was there since…well, it wasn’t important.

~~_Upi royjrt yppl zu vjsthr'd qasvr, pt yjsy pg yjr rohjyj jizsm…ejsy od om dyptr gpt upi mpe, O epmfrt?_ ~~

The black blob laughed ominously, then vanished with a glitch. Dave stopped for a second, scanning the area around him warily. What was that…thing, he felt? It was definitely not supposed to be part of the time-space surrounding this place…but…

If that presence were part of the void, Dave wouldn’t have noticed it.

No, this felt like someone forcibly removed from the timeline…corroding their entire existence.

Completely.

Dave could not investigate further, though, as Frisk was insistently tugging at their sleeve and asking them what was wrong. He’d just wait and see if the presence was willing to make an appearance again.

It wasn’t his problem.

Yet.

Frisk dragged a chuckling Dave further down the path, grin never leaving their face.

They hopped merrily over a thick branch, not waiting for Dave to do the same. In the end, Dave resorted to floating a few inches above the ground to avoid any injury and let Frisk tug him along. An amused Chara floated alongside Dave.

As they passed it however, it cracked when their backs were turned. Dave snapped back onto the ground and squinted at the branch, trying to inspect it more closely.

It was snapped in half. But Dave clearly remembered the branch being too tough to try and lug it with them, much less break it…

“What the hell…Oh, fine, I’ll hurry up. Stop pulling, geez.” Dave turned back to Frisk who was pouting at them again.

They were rather bossy. Who would have thought?

They continued onward, Dave making a crack joke now and then, eliciting a few snorts from both Frisk and Chara. They stopped when they neared a suspended bridge.

Dave noticed a shadow walking over to them.

“What…” Dave tensed, sensing an overwhelming threat just by the mere aura of this…monster? Person? They looked human enough…

“ ** **H u m a n s.**** ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Henlo, I have updated. Surprise!!!
> 
> If you want to ask about that black blob, its obvious. I just couldn't get the fonts to work, so I settled with keyboard-like grimdark. If you want to decode it, you can ask me personally and ill tell you the cheat sheet.


	19. spooky scary skeleton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TG: hes a precious cinammon roll  
> TG: but you didnt hear it from me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hngaaaahhhh you're almost at the part where i'm currently writing nooooo
> 
> also I cannot pun help
> 
> merry X-mas! will try writing a bonus fic but considering my schedule? that might not be possible?

“ ** **H u m a n s.**** ” The figure bellowed, which set off more warning bells in Dave’s head. But wait…which set of bells? He had specific ‘bells’ for each threat level; it was hard to decipher which was which!

(This was true. Dave had a warning bell for John’s pranks, Karkat’s heat, Jade’s temper, Dirk’s breakdowns, Jake’s miscellaneous adventures, whatever the fuck Roxy and Rose decided to make that could end in a potential blow up…yeah, you get the idea. There was also this one warning system he applied whenever there were threats.)

“ ** **Don’t you know how to greet a new pal? Shake my hand, its rude to leave a guy waiting.**** ” The figure continued.

Frisk reached for his hand as Dave opened his mouth.

“It sure ain’t polite to sneak the sneak out of others too, what’s your -”

_Pfffblfffft._

_What the fuck?_

“heh. the old whoopie-cushion on the hand trick. works every time.” The shadows concealing the figure disappeared, revealing a skeleton in a nice cozy jacket, wearing a white turtleneck that peeked in from beneath the jacket. A pair of black jersey shorts accompanied it, with a pair of dirtied slippers that completed the ensemble.

 _Wait…oh goddammit, the prank-instincts! Fuck me._ Dave wanted to smack his head for being so stupid. Of course there was a prank-loving mosnter. Of fucking course there was.

 _Damn you, Egbert._ Even here Dave cannot escape the nerd’s schemes.

Whether or not he was directly involved.

“I’m Sans, Sans the skeleton.” _Well no fucking shit, man._

“Say, you two are humans, right?”

“Nah. We’re majestic sirens all the way from the pacific. Daddy’s got issues with us, so we escaped.” Dave replied. The skeleton, Sans, seemed to blink - which really were just his eyes blacking out for a quick half second before going back again - not exactly expecting that response. Frisk was stopping themselves from giggling, they knew an interaction with Sans was bound to be amusing. They had a gut feeling. Chara was smirking lightly as well, more amused than ever.

“...heh, good one. You nearly _netted_ me in with that joke. Sounds like you two are some serious _fish out of water._ ” Dave groaned.

“Great, another one of you punny people,” he grumbled. Sans shrugged.

“Good to see someone tries. _Tibia_ honest, I didn’t think anyone would _see right through me,_ but here you are. Have to say, your pun’s pretty _humerus_  as well.” Sans’ grin grew a tad wider at Dave, but remained constant all throughout.

“As i was saying, since you two are sirens, I guess you wouldn't have much trouble dealing with my brother.”

“Wait, why would we have trouble with him?”

“Well, he’s one of the royal guards in training, and he needs a human to get in officially. Had you two been humans, he would have tried capturing you and _sailing_  you off to the king.” Sans explained, winking. Dave ignored the pun in favor of thinking.

I know, I know. Dave Strider - thinking? But yes, he was. In terms of the whole capturing humans thing anyway.

“Hey, kid, mind if I borrow the other kid for a few?” Dave looked suspiciously at Sans, but Frisk gave them a thumbs up so Dave relented.

“Eh, Frisk does what they want. Go ahead.”

Sans pulled Frisk out of what he thought was Dave’s immediate earshot. Once they were far enough (not really) Sans’ teeth morphed into a straight line, imitating a serious look. His pupils glowed darker as well, not exactly disappearing, but close.

“Who is that?” Sans asked. Frisk shrugged.

*****You tell Sans that while you’re not exactly sure, you know enough.** **

“That doesn't really tell me much of anything, kid.”

*****You tell Sans that you should just ask Dave.** **

“Is that his name?”

*****You nod in response.** **

“How did he get here?”

*****You repeat your earlier statement, that Sans should just straight up ask Dave himself.** **

“Kid.”

*****Sans.** **

“...if he does anything, you’re both in for a ****bad time.****  Not just with me, either.”

*****You nod and tell Sans you perfectly understand what would happen by merely having Dave here.** **

“I don’t think you do, frisk.”

*****You insist that do.You tell Sans he doesn’t have to worry. Dave could be trusted.** **

“As much as you?”

*****More than you could ever be. Would ever be.** **

“...I really hope that remains true, kid.” Sans ruffled their hair. Frisk pouted.

*****First Dave, now Sans, what was with your hair?** **

Sans walked back to where Dave (and Chara) remained, still mulling over whatever it was on Dave’s head.

*****You give Sans a thumbs up.** **

Sans shook his head in response, slightly exasperated.

“If you’re sure, kid.”

Chara sent a knowing grin towards Dave.

*****See Dave, I told you it would be fine.** **

“Yeah, yeah, sure.”

“Who are you talking to?”

“Myself. I tend to do that a lot. Problem?”

“No, not really.”

* * *

 

“NYEEEH! SANS, WHERE ARE YOU?” said skeleton blinked.

“oh. right. my brother. Forgot about him.”

“...Just why.”

“If it helps, there’s a conveniently shaped lamp right there. Right across these bars.” Sans pointed to a lamp right beside some sort of…sentry station. Frisk walked over, and sure enough, the lamp was conveniently able to hide their form.

The same could not be said for Dave, however.

Dave was a little annoyed, but take what you could get, right?

“...Why don’t I just,” Dave walked over to the station and hid behind it. “Hide over here.” Sans shrugged.

“Works for me.”

“SAAAAANS. ARE YOU ABANDONING YOUR JOB AGAIN?! YOU LAZYBONES!” A rather tall skeleton emerged from further down the path. He was wearing quite the eccentric costume, which, strangely enough, seemed to fit the tall skeleton despite its sheer ridiculousness.

“Guilty as charged, bro.”

“THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE! REALLY, BROTHER, ONE OF THESE DAYS YOU WILL HAVE TO MAKE AN EFFORT! YOU WILL NOT BE AS GOOD AS ME, UNFORTUNATELY, BUT THAT DOES NOT GIVE YOU AN EXCUSE TO TRY!”

“I don’t really feel up to it, _tibia_ honest. Kinda disrupts the flow of my routine, yanno?”

“I WOULD HARDLY CALL _SLEEPING_ A HEALTHY ROUTINE. AND WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT THOSE PUNS OF YOURS?!”

“Not to be a _rib tickler_ with them?”

“SERIOUSLY SANS! NOT FUNNY.”

“What? I really thought they hit the __funny bone.”__

“SAAAANS!”

This banter went on back and forth, until the tall skeleton got fed up with Sans keeping on pointing to the conveniently shaped lamp (which sent Dave’s heart stopping on a few occasions, not that he was ever going to tell anyone __that__ ) and stomped off. Frisk jumped out of the lamp, stifling giggles and Dave followed, brushing of his clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY
> 
> I can list of a few of my school projects that had me held up:  
> the thing for HomeEc or TLE where we had to make an appetizer  
> reading up on El Filibusterismo, more specifically that one chapter about Simoun (i dare you to search it and figure out the language)  
> Thesis whoooo i ran around trying to get my groupmates to find the materials needed  
> Don Quixote  
> Prop making
> 
> and yeah sorry if you didnt wanna see that but id at least offer an explanation


	20. Chapter 20

“That was a thing.” He said, looking at Frisk and raising an eyebrow. They shrugged in response, and grabbed his sleeve, pulling him over to where Sans was.

“So, kids, how are you enjoying yourselves so far?” Sans turned to them, grin still in place. __Did this guy ever get tired of grinning? No, that was a stupid thought, Dave, I thought you knew better. You know John, Jade, and Terezi. One more grinning lunatic didn’t seem like that much of a stretch, so who am I to complain?__

Frisk gave a signed answer.

***You tell Sans that you’re pretty much enjoying yourself so far. You’re just not so sure about Dave because you noticed he looked like he was about to faint…what was with that by the way?**

Chara translated effortlessly (and Dave was nearly jealous because while he had been learning bit by bit picking up on Frisk’s language, he still couldn’t decipher most of what they were saying and mostly relied on either Pesterchum or Chara.)

Dave looked blankly taken aback. Was that even possible? Frisk didn’t know.

“What? Nah, you gotta have been imaginin things Frisk. There’s no way I was about to faint.”

“You totally were,” Chara cheekily told him. Dave scowled.

“Shut up.”

“kid, who were you talking to?” Sans seemed confused as to why Dave seemed to be talking to thin air. Unless…

No. It wasn't possible. _They_ only showed up in a GENOCIDE route. There was no way…

Or maybe the kid wasn't all honest about _them_  finally being gone.

“What? Oh, I was texting Frisk. See?” Dave showed Sans his phone, and true enough his exact response was plastered below a wall of red text, seemingly between him and Frisk. And the earlier message.

“But…you were saying it out loud.” Sans narrowed his eyes at the blond human. Sorry, _siren._

“Eh, my shades function like a phone. I just say what I wanna say and it types it out in my quirk or I type manually with my eyes.” Sans blinked before chuckling.

“That’s a good one, but really, how did you do it?” He pressed. Dave nearly let out a frustrated sigh, ripping his shades out of his face and handing them to Sans.

His eyes were closed.

“Here. Put these on.” Sans took the shades with confusion etched on his face as he held them up.

To his surprise, a transparent window was up inside - or on? - the shades that showed the conversation originally seen on his phone. While Sans was exploring the interface of his aviators, Dave turned around and whipped out his phone, wincing at the brightness before lowering it down.

Photo-phobia was a great excuse to wear shades, but damn if it wasn’t a bitch whenever he actually took his shades off.

TG: see

TG: and you dont fuckin believe me

TG: nonbeliever

Sans’ eyes widened in what registered as shock, before his smile settled once again.

“interesting contraption you have here, kid. who made it?”

TG: i have a couple of good friends who know their way around machinery

“Hmm…” Sans’ mind was whirling with information. Humans were __this__  advanced when it came to technology? (At the rate they were going the monsters’ chances of surviving significantly dropped a huge percentage.)

Dave gingerly held the shades and placed them back on his face, where they belonged. Finally.

Frisk, being smart, watched the whole conversation via opening the window in their cellphone, the chat they used to talk to each other all the while. They hoped Sans didn’t peek into their previous chat logs. If he did?

The amount of reasons why they’d have a bad time would be added by one. Oh lord.

“Alright, now that this stuff is over and done with, where do we go from here?” Sans pointed in front of them.

“Follow thine road and the one thee desires most shall come.” Sans dramatically elaborated, striking a really odd pose. Dave rolled his eyes, Frisk giggled. Sideways, Chara was snickering. Sans chuckled a bit and stopped posing.

“Really, you have to follow this road here to get to the next town, Snowdin. Although…hang on. Can I ask you a favor?” Dave and Frisk turned back, expectant look on Frisk’s face and…practically still a stoic look on Dave’s but Sans got the feeling he was questioning Sans silently. Ah well.

“See, my brother, yes, that really cool skeleton you heard me talk to,” Dave wanted to snort but something held him back. Maybe it was a bro to a bro with brothers; don’t talk shit about them. Who knew? “He’s been feeling a bit down this past week. And I just thought, since you both can easily pass off as humans, perhaps you could make his day a little bit. Whaddaya say?” The blonde seemed hesitant, no doubt planning some sort of way to __avoid__ that happening. Sans cannot have that.

“He’s not really that dangerous,” Sans grinned to himself. “even when he tries to be. Think about it, maybe? See you in a bit.” He waved, turned opposite of them, and disappeared.  Dave knew what teleporting felt like, so he wasn’t at all startled. There was more to that Sans guy than met the eye though… he knew for a fact that teleportation was hard as hell (Jade was not included because she was __Jade__ ) so if the guy could do it easily despite being labeled as lazy…

_What a mess this adventure was coming to._


	21. leftovers from LOHAC Stock Exchange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not as much of a problem as it is a god-hack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM NOT DEAD
> 
> "what the fuck-"
> 
> BUT OFFICIALLY TSAALOB/STUCK UNDERGROUND WILL HAVE REALLY FUCKING INCONVENIENT INCONSISTENCIES BECAUSE SCHOOL IS A BITCH AND I PROCRASTINATE A LOT
> 
> "whos fucking fault is that -"
> 
> DAVE SHUT THE FUCK UP
> 
> "youre the one shouting-"
> 
> I SAID SHUT IT
> 
> "..."
> 
> THANK YOU

“He’s not really that dangerous,” Sans grinned to himself. “even when he tries to be. Think about it, maybe? See you in a bit.” He waved, turned opposite of them, and disappeared.  Dave knew what teleporting felt like, so he wasn’t at all startled. There was more to that Sans guy than met the eye though… he knew for a fact that teleportation was hard as hell (Jade was not included because she was _Jade_ ) so if the guy could do it easily despite being labeled as lazy…

What a mess this adventure was coming to.

Frisk smiled at Dave, and walked along. Dave shoved his hands into his pockets and followed suit.

They came to a clearing with four distinct paths, one of them being the one they had recently come from. Over to Dave’s left, from the original path (?), was surrounded by trees and running water. To his right, the path was obscured from being walked on…He didn’t know why though. In front of them, joined by a box and a sign, was a road that lead to a town a small distance away.

Hm.

Looking at it now, the place kinda reminded him a bit of LOFAF. The Ruins looked like a mini-Derse too. Dave did not know what to do with this revelation, so he resolved to never think about it unless necessary.

The less headaches he had to worry about, the better.

They came to a stop in front of a box. When Frisk opened it and shoved their hand inside, Dave nearly had a fake-mini heart attack (Striders did not get faint hearted and honestly who was he fooling? Good god why can’t he admit it…) because the kid’s body __dipped__  further than physically possible. Then Dave realized it was probably hammerspace again and promptly __fuck this shit. Just. I’m so. Nope.__

When Frisk reemerged from the box, they were holding a pair of gloves. Frisk studied these gloves for a moment before nodding to themselves and sliding and thrusting their little hand into the air. Faintly, Dave could see a transparent…window (?) in front of the child.

****[ACT]** **

****[Gloves]** **

****[EQUIP]** **

****[** ** **_**_UNEQUIP Faded Ribbon?_ ** _ ** ****]** **

****[Y]** **

****[** ** **_**_EQUIPPED Glove!_ ** _ ** ****]** **

Frisk, satisfied with the changes, handed the ribbon to Dave, who raised an eyebrow, accepting the silk string.

“The he-ck am I supposed to do with this?”

“Wear it, maybe?” Chara drawled sarcastically.

“Why would I wanna do that? This is a lady thing.”

Frisk shrugged, and signed. Dave took a long three minutes to decode what Frisk was trying to say, mostly because he was busy trying to shut Chara up before they could translate for him. He wanted to learn, alright?

“...yeah, why not? Ironic look, here we go.” Dave, instead of doing whatever complicated shit Frisk just did, simply tied the ribbon onto place. Which, strangely, seemed to still raise his defense considerably.

****[+1 DEF]** **

****[Faded Ribbon: An item left behind by PATIENCE.]** **

Dave had the weirdest feeling that whoever wore the Faded Ribbon wasn’t a girl at all. Which was totally okay in his book. Anyone who willingly tied a ribbon onto their hair had balls.

~~And he very much liked balls.~~ ~~~~

After silently gaping at Dave for a brief moment, Frisk noticed something else, and gestured for them to wait. Dave watched them move towards a weird glowing…star?

Oh. Yeah. SAVE POINTS. Chara had told him about that.

****[SAVE FILE?]** **

****[Y]** **

****[FILE SAVE SUCCESSFUL. ADDITIONAL INFO RECIEVED.]** **

Wait, what? Frisk looked curiously at the new screen that popped up.

It showed Dave…but he was older? Huh? He was wearing strange clothing, a long-sleeved dark red undershirt coupled with an overshirt, a cape, and sweatpants. He had black sneakers, and there was that ten toothed cog in the same place where it was on his sweater that he was wearing now.

****[DAVE STRIDER]** **

****[CLASS: Knight of Time]** **

****[BIO: Dave Strider is the Time Player of the B1 Session of Sburb/Sgrub. After quite a few shenanigans, he found himself in the Underground.]** **

The rest of the information was obscured. Hm. What a strange development. Frisk decided to tell Dave about this later, but they really needed to hurry along.

They closed the screen and grabbed Dave’s hand, which was as warm as always, and seemed to be pulsing faintly. Frisk was comforted by him, though they didn’t know why. It’s just…Dave’s presence exuded an air of rhythm and order, and Frisk felt quite at peace around Dave. As if nothing could disrupt the flowing beat Dave set about himself. It was weird, but not unwelcome.

*****You tell Dave to hurry his butt up.** **

Dave gave something reminiscent of a smile. “Why don’t I just do this?” He floated a few inches above. Frisk pouted, being the only one not able to fly, but relented and took off, ignoring Dave flailing about and keeping a tight grip on the blonde’s hand.

“Oh my god, how are you this fast, you’re __shorter than I am__!”

After much exploring around, (Dave called the number on the phone and nearly threw a fit then and there. Did these people even know how to __rap?__  Okay, maybe he was being a bit salty but lately this place was so devoid of lyrical music that it was __frustrating.__  One of these days he’d pull up a party or a concert or __something__  to liven the place up a little), they somehow managed to find what looked like a card of some sort. Frisk picked it up, wondering what it was, before handing it to Dave.

When coming into contact with it, the card disappeared. A dinging sound was muffled in the cloth of Dave’s shorts. He whipped his phone out and nearly gaped.

It was the remnants of the LOHAC Stock Exchange program he and Terezi had instigated. Being translated into G.

Oh my god, a Boon Dollar was worth 5 G. He had, what, 12 Boon Bonds left in his account? Doing the math…holy fuckin shit.

Frisk had no such Strider Etiquette that Dave had, and their mouth dropped open when a new window popped up before Dave, his G meter rapidly being filled until -

****[G 9999+++]** **

*****You are unable to speak, it seems. Dave, how did you get that much money?** **

Dave’s throat bobbed. Like, you know, gulping? Okay, it sounds dirty when he says bobbed but that’s one of the only ways he could explain it without being overly typical and expressive.

“Y’ r’memb’r th’t time wh’n ah t’ld you ‘bout th’se time shenan’gns ah did?” Dave mumbled, still mentally trying to calculate how much Gold he now had. Um.

Frisk, remembering a...particularly G greedy monster up ahead…had the foresight to warn Dave.

*****You tell Dave that it’s best he put most of that money back to…whatever it was. You’re going to be so broke when you put them all in right now.** **

Dave shrugged, tapped a few buttons on his phone. After much fiddling and near swear words on figuring out the interface that was the screen thing the Underground had, Dave finally got his G down to a highly acceptable number.

****[G 9999]** **

“That good enough?” He looked at Frisk, who gave him a thumbs up. That would do.


	22. snowpoffs are da bomb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **And this, is a snow poff.**
> 
> _Goddammit, Chara._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BACCK
> 
> apparently it just blacked out
> 
> i let it discharge and voila after charging it was good as new!!!
> 
> so enjoy this chappie!!!!

*****You tell Dave that it’s best he put most of that money back to…whatever it was. You’re going to be so broke when you put them all in right now.** **

Dave shrugged, tapped a few buttons on his phone. After much fiddling and near swear words on figuring out the interface that was the screen thing the Underground had, Dave finally got his G down to a highly acceptable number.

****[G 9999]** **

“That good enough?” He looked at Frisk, who gave him a thumbs up. That would do.

Their feet were feeling slightly sore, though…They looked at Dave hopefully, wondering if he could understand them. Dave looked at them blankly.

This went on for a minute.

Dave sighed and turned his back on Frisk, crouching. “Come on, then.” Frisk clapped in glee before nearly tackling and clutching Dave’s neck while being hoisted up. Frisk was light. Worryingly light.

What even was this kid? Dave wasn’t sure he was ready to know. He’d assume for now that Frisk was bullied. He hoped, for both their sakes, that he was right.

Until then, he wouldn’t ask.

Frisk, lulled to sleep with Dave walking idly exploring more of the Underground, snored softly on his shoulder, licking their lips once in a while to stop the drool from dribbling down on Dave. Even when they were asleep they were still terrifyingly polite. To an extent. Chara followed Dave around, explaining a few certain topics for him along the way.

So engrossed in their chat, neither of the two noticed the weird stares they got. Dave subconsciously solved the rather…easy? Puzzles left by the GREAT PAPYRUS and managed to bypass some of the guard dogs there. (It was actually because Papyrus still didn’t think they were actual humans and gave them a passing glance before continuing to scold his brother’s laziness.) Chara also didn’t realize they had already deviated from the script. For now, that was a good thing.

(Luckily Sans thought the sirens schtick was hilarious enough to dig and spread the word. It helped a lot that Dave and Frisk were wearing striped shirts and thus weren’t identified as humans. Monsters had been out of contact with humans for so long that they all had forgotten what a human was supposed to look like. It was for the best.)

“Oh man, how long was the neck?”

“Very long, I can assure you. It nearly broke the boundaries.” Chara snickered. Dave hoisted up a falling Frisk more.

“Man, I’ve gotta try that sometime.” Chara grinned.

“You might just. Check each snow poff in this area.” Dave gave them a dubious look, but proceeded to do as Chara instructed.

Well, as well as anyone who had a passenger on their back could. Dave had to take extra care not to jostle the kid awake and fall off their shoulders.

He dug through the first mound.

*****That is a snow poff.** **

He went to another one.

*****Oh, look, another snow poff.** **

He gave them a look and crept to another.

*****And over here, we have a snow poff.** **

“Chara.”

*****Strangely enough, this seems to be a snow poff.** **

“Oh my god, __stop__.”

*****Oh my! It’s…a snow poff.** **

“...”

*****There seems to be a snowpoff.** **

“Dude, I swear.”

*****Here’s another-** **

“CHARA!”

*****-snow poff, but look, there’s 30 G!** **

Dave glowered at Chara, who would not wipe that damn grin of that stupid face. Dave shoved his hand in the snow poff and sure enough, there was 30 G inside.

****[G 9999+30]** **

Dave was still glowering at Chara, Frisk blissfully in the land of dreams.

“Why don’t you check that one over there?” Chara pointed a little too cheerfully at an unchecked snow poff. Dave did not know whether to start hating the snow poffs or Chara. He settled somewhere between the two.

“No.” Chara faltered, shoulders shaking in restrained laughter.

“Come on, Dave, its not that bad.” Dave looked suspiciously at the ghost.

“One remark, Dreemurr. That’s all it takes.” He warned. Chara put their hands up innocently, their face entirely angelic.

Dave still looked at them warily, before turning to the slightly larger snow poff.

Wait.

Slightly __larger__?!

He couldn’t do much of anything yet, as suddenly, a huge armored __sunnuva-__


	23. battles and challenges

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life seems to hate dave.
> 
> eh, nothing new there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because i feel bad, have a double chappie!!! enjoy!!!

Dog. The dog was nearly _three Dave’s tall_  if Dave was still in his teens. Granted, he was a tiny little motherfucker but _still._

He was as huge as Lord Fuckass himself. And that was saying something.

****[ACT]** **

****[GREATER DOG]** **

****[CHECK]** **

****[ATK - BARK]** **

****[DEF - BARK]** **

****[*This pup seems to be itching for something…]** **

Dave resisted from twitching irritably. Really? __Really?!__ He sorely wanted to sneer at Chara, who was laughing like a goddamn lunatic. Meanwhile, Frisk slept on peacefully.

Dave’s mobility was decreased because of the weight on his back, which, arguably, was both good and bad. He had more of a reason not to FIGHT, but then, how would he evade the damn attacks?

Blessings and curses. He wanted to laugh at the irony.

Greater dog waited patiently for Dave to move. He had a child resting on his back, it was only courteous to do so. You do not take advantage of a technically disabled person, after all.

*****It seems Greater Dog lets you have the first move.** **

“You monsters are all angels I swear,” Dave nearly shed a tear, and Greater Dog yipped in agreement.

“Okay,” Dave, using one hand, flicked through his Items list. Strangely enough, it seemed since Frisk was currently incapacitated, their inventory was accessible to Dave. “I wonder…” Dave stared long and hard at the stick option.

Would it work?

He still ignored Chara’s amused lurking behind him and selected the stick.

****[ITEM]** **

****[Stick]** **

****[*You throw the stick at a distance.]** **

Greater Dog yipped once more, summoned bullets which Dave had barely dodged, and went after the stick, tongue rolling out of her mouth.

****[- 5 HP]** **

They went on like this for a couple of rounds, with Dave giving the occasional pat to the head, before the battle finally ended. This left Dave with a measly 7 HP with Frisk somehow still peacefully snoozing on his back. What on earth?

Strangely enough, the dog seemed to follow them around. Dave didn’t mind much, since the little girl was cute and shit. Chara was still confused, but let it slide again because ever since that little time-lecture, they decided that it would be best to just sit back and let it all play out.

“Heya,” Sans greeted them as Frisk rubbed their eyes awake. “Nice nap, kid?” Frisk looked slowly at him, then to Dave under them, then back to Sans. They yawned, and gave a sleepy thumbs up. They hadn’t had a nap this nice in…a while, actually. There was something about sleeping on Dave that made it a lot more comfortable, but they didn’t know why.

Dave nodded at Sans, who grinned wider.

“Oh, by the way, I heard bro saying something about inviting you two over at our house,” Sans mused, watching them carefully. Dave tilted his head slightly, thinking on the statement.

“He still doesn’t realize we’re actually humans, does he?”

“Well -”

“WOWIE! THE SIRENS - I MEAN, HUMANS HAVE THOROUGHLY JAPED ME, THE GREAT PAPYRUS! AS EXPECTED FROM THE PEOPLE OF YOUR CALIBER!!!” Papyrus suddenly, out of __nowhere,__  jumped from the bushes. Right beside Sans, Dave, and Frisk.

Dave stumbled. “ _ _Sunnuva-__ ”

“Don’t finish that sentence, kid,” Sans was…twitching his fingers? Um. Wow. Okay.

Dave aimed a light, annoyed glare at the shorter of the skeleton brothers. “You try saying something like ‘Biscuits’ after being jumped on by someone and living with the shame.” Dave shook his head and glanced warily at Papyrus. Frisk laughed quietly and yelped when Dave pinched them. They laughed sheepishly after that.

Sans shrugged. It wasn’t his problem until it actually became one. He turned to his brother. “Ey, good work on uncovering their identities bro. All of us nearly __identified__  them as normal regular sirens.”

“SANS THERE IS A TIME AND PLACE FOR YOUR - OH, NO, WAIT,” Papyrus stopped, posing thoughtfully. Yes, that was a thing Papyrus could do. He’s the GREAT PAPYRUS. “I DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW WHETHER THAT WAS A PUN OR NOT -”

“Heh, __know-t__  really.”

“OH, ALRIGHT - OH BOONDOGGLE, SANS! ONE AFTER THE OTHER, I SWEAR TO GOD.”

“Ouch, you __god__  me, bro.”

“SANS! HONESTLY!”

Dave and Frisk (with Chara right behind them) were watching the two with amusement. Dave was trying not to smirk but failing miserably, Frisk was giggling here and there, and Chara snorted in an ugly manner. Dave looked at them perturbed.

“That is one weird ass chortle you got there.” Chara’s hand shot up to cover their mouth.

“That was me?”

“Pretty much.”

“...oh my god.”

Dave was about to ask them when have they ever actually laughed (Chara swore to corner Frisk to ask why they hadn’t told the ghost that they had a godawful sounding laugh) when Papryus turned to the little human group.

If Dave were to actually hear us right now, or more specifically, me, the narrator, I’m quite sure he’d be bristling at me to not call him little but that __is__  what you call __children__  so…yeah.

“HUMANS-THAT-ARE-NOT-ACTUALLY-SIRENS!” Papyrus gleefully addressed them, having recovered fairly quickly after idle banter with his brother.

“Why the overly long title though…?” He muttered and was blissfully ignored by the egotistically charming skeleton.

“I HAVE COME TO CHALLENGE YOU!” The taller skeleton continued, gesturing to himself, his cape billowing in the non-existent wind.

“...Challenge. Because everything else couldn’t be more complicated than it already is…” Dave grumbled. Frisk giggled beside him.

***Oh, don’t worry, Papryus won’t hurt either of you fatally. Just go along with it.**

“Right…okay then,” Dave responded.

“AND RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE YOU SO CLEVERLY SOLVED MY OTHER TWO PUZZLES,” Papyrus continued. “I HAVE BEEN FORCED TO CREATE A CONTINGENCY EMERGENCY PUZZLE FOR YOUR PUZZLING PLEASURE!” His face quickly turned sour. “OH MY GOD. I’VE BEEN AFFECTED BY THE PUNS!”

“You can’t fight it, bro,” Sans teased him, grin stretching wider and teeth clacking like he was restraining himself from laughing outright.

Papyrus openly scowled at his brother. “I DEARLY WISH I COULD, SANS,” he informed the lazy skeleton as if it were a really serious matter. Which it was, if your name was Papyrus. “IN ANY CASE,” Papyrus quickly reverted back to his charming ego (yes it’s charming that’s a thing papyrus can do) and turned back to the humans who were watching him in amusement. The Greater Dog yipped merrily beside them, tail wagging. “AS YOU CAN SEE BEHIND ME,” the tall skeleton gestured behind him.

It looked like what Dave would describe as a dance floor, only it wasn’t lighting up. A bit further than that was a strange metal box. Strange being the term that was used loosely here, because Dave’s seen Egbert work his Ecto-Magic on even weirder boxes, but strange was a term that could be used on anything so; strange metal box. It had a few buttons, most of which Dave presumed to be part of the whole…uh, challenge? Maybe. Papyrus did gesture to it a few times.

“- DID YOU GET ALL THAT?” Papyrus turned back to them, grin bright and enthusiastic. Dave blinked behind his shades.

“...get what?” He mumbled to himself, looking confused, but Frisk nodded, determined. They gripped his shoulders (they were still on his back you know) tightly. Dave grew concerned and nervous.

“Get what? Frisk?”

No one heard him. Sans, maybe, but what did he have to lose? It’s not like the test was lethal or anything, and sure the kids may end up a bit worse for wear, but they’d be fine.

Dave watched a bit shocked as Papyrus hit a button on the strange metal box (since when did he get over there?!), then suddenly the floor began to light up in different colors, mixing and matching.

It stopped.


	24. never again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> let's cheer on poor clueless dave and his inattentiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM BACK BITCHES
> 
> HOPEFULLY SCHEDULE WILL CHANGE BUT DONT FUCKIN COUNT ON IT
> 
> WILLG O TO HONG KONG IN TEN DAYS
> 
> IMMA SEE DISNEYLAND BITCHES
> 
> FITE MEEEEEE
> 
> i love you all a ton so you may get a double update ;)

_It stopped._

(As Chara predicted, the combination changed.)

The whole floor was a mess of colors. Greens, blues, yellows, oranges, pinks and reds and a lot of other colors assaulted his eyes.

A tug on his hair had him looking at a concerned Frisk, who was waiting for him to step forward.

*You ask Dave if he’s going to go ahead and help you solve the puzzle.

Dave looked back to the floor.

“...right…what am I solving here again?”

Frisk looked at Dave weirdly.

***You ask Dave again if he had been listening to Papyrus when he explained.**

Dave had the decency to look slightly embarrassed. “I, uh,” he responded, a faint pink dusting his cheeks, mostly covered by his shades. “I spaced out a little,” he finishes lamely.

Chara floated in front of him to give the flattest stare he’d received in forever. Rose had nothing on this kid, what the hell?

“You didn’t listen,” they repeated.

Slowly, as if Dave was looking at several panel shots shown in sequence, Chara reached up and pinched the bridge of their nose. They looked at him, then shook their head. Dave kinda felt somewhat offended by this.

Live with it, Dave.

“Just. Let Frisk guide you or something,” is all they say, before floating off and muttering darkly.

Whelp.

* * *

 

“Uh, wait is this really something we wanna do - __wait oh my god-__ ”

* * *

 

“SHIT SHIT THIS ISN’T NORMAL -” “What were you expecting?”

* * *

 

“There…are friggin’ piranhas here, do we look like fish chow to you.” “You will be if you don’t get out.”

* * *

 

“Okay, okay, I think I’m getting the hang of - Grk!” ***** **You ask Dave if he’s alright, but it really doesn’t look like it.**

“Wow, such a nice aroma. Too bad it leads aaaaAAAHH SKITTLES-” “Hah, suffer and die.”

* * *

 

“…why pink tho?” “Because pink.”

* * *

 

“…so, red doesn’t actually kill ya… that makes a fuckton more sense.” “Huh?” “I get its not something people notice, but there’s a time fracture on each red tile.”

“…is it fatal?” “Nah. It slows the perception of time around a person and deletes the anomaly, giving the impression that it can’t be stepped over.”

“So, its possible to cross it?” “If you have time specific powers, I guess, yeah.” “Why can’t we-”

“Yours deals with Mind and Space, not Time.” “That makes literally no sense.”

* * *

 

“Why is this such a pain?” “Because you keep choosing the routes leading to the yellow tiles.”

* * *

 

(Look, the short version is that Dave got electrocuted. Like a lot.)

* * *

 

Frisk jumped off of the blonde’s shoulders, looking curiously at their companion. Dave didn’t look any different, other than the fact that he looked a bit burnt here and there. He also had  a few scrapes from trying to skid past a red tile. __Note to self,__  they thought. __Don’t consider stepping on the red tile. Ever. It’s cursed…__

Frisk shook themselves from their own thoughts, and focused back on the blonde.

…

It looked as if Dave still hadn’t moved from his position, which was strange. From what Frisk observed, Dave would most likely have already shifted into a different position by now. They grew a bit worried.

*You call out Dave’s name. He doesn’t answer.

Frisk tilted their head in confusion. What had gotten into Dave? Was the test too much?

“SO, YOU HAVE PASSED, HUMA- ER, ARE YOU ALRIGHT? HELLO? RED HUMAN?” Papyrus approached them, Sans hanging at the back. The tall skeleton looked uncertain. “WHAT HAPPENED?”

Frisk shrugged in response.

They both stared at Dave, who __still__  hadn’t moved from his spot. Papyrus moved back and attempted to whisper to his brother. Sans was observing curiously.

Frisk was about to pat Dave’s shoulder, when Dave’s knees gave out.


	25. y'call that a trial?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS BEEN SO LONG MY LOVELIES
> 
> HOPEFULLY Y'AINT BEING TOO MAD ABOUT THIS BUT I DID TELL YOU ONCE A MONTH SO IM JUST RUNNING MYSELF OFF A CLIFF HERE...AHEM.
> 
> thank you for your continued support!!!! 
> 
> if youre wondering where ive been, ive been playing rules of survival, ff: awakening, pubg (sorta), and tons of other mmorpgs...yeah....

They yelped in shock and jumped back, startled. Dave was staring at the ground. His shades slowly slipped off from his face from the initial impact. His knees were folded at a somewhat awkward angle, but not enough to cause any serious harm.

Sans raised a non-existent eyebrow. He silently wondered if the kid was alright, well, the test wasn’t even that bad! Er, when you’re not the one in it, he supposes.

He walked forward, slipping past his brother and the still shell-shocked Frisk who was clutching their heart. He crouched down to blonde’s shortened height and peered at his face.

Sans was thrown in for a loop when ruby red eyes stared unfocused and blankly at the snow on the ground. He’d deal with the fact that Dave seemed to be in a comatose state later- and redirected his attention to the eyes.

Somehow, it didn’t remind him of the determined red he once saw on Frisk’s own face. It didn’t look like it. And he wasn’t talking about the shape. The look, the general feel to the look of the eyes. It…

__It didn’t feel human._ _

If… if Dave wasn’t human…then what was he?

He didn’t look like a monster…in fact he really did resemble a human. He even had a soul for crying out loud!

Sans hesitated for a few short seconds, debating the pros and cons of grabbing Dave to interrogate him. Well, the blond hasn’t exactly done anything extremely harmful, and looked peaceful, though he knew better than to judge one by looks (he had several lifetimes of experience, after all); but since Dave hadn’t caught his attention in the way that it was bad, maybe Sans could leave it alone for a while.

He brought his skeletal hand upwards and snapped his fingers. Technically it shouldn’t be possible, but since he and and rest of the underground was magic, it could be done. Snapping his fingers seemed to do the trick, as Dave blinked once, twice, before lifting his head up.

Um, Sans mentally backtracked in his head. What was with the kid’s expression? It looked like…well it didn’t look like it could be described into words, but it was a mix between horror, disbelief, and his usual blank face. Was that even possible?

“...kid?”

Dave didn’t answer, picking his glasses up from the floor and hastily putting them on. He turned to look at Papyrus and the machine with some sort of wary distrust, before scooting closer to Frisk.

…

Well, alright then.

“That,” Dave starts to speak. Oh, okay, not alright then, then - “Was one batcrap insane, ridiculous pile of poo and __why would you do that to me?!__ ”

Sans was impressed with the way the voice seemed to panic, but the face remained still, not breaking out of its stoic expression. That took skill. But the octave the kid his was…mildly worrying. Had the test become too much? He remembered more simple puzzled Frisk faced alone, so the Dave fella was changing something. Or was he one of the changes too? It was hard to tell.

Frisk giggled and stepped back up to Dave.

*****You tell Dave he’s being silly.** **

Dave sputters in protest. “I am not! I could have literally died there. Actually, no, I already died,” Sans, having backed away once the Frisk stepped forward to teleport away, snapped his head towards them in alarm. He went unnoticed.

“-like, did you see those god---SH darn little ankle biters? Pests I tell you, pests! Its like dealing with John’s birthday frigging __again__ , which is not a good time as much as I love Egbert in the most, no-homo, platonic brotherly way possible.”

Dave grimaced holding a hand up to his forehead, the other hand resting on his hip. Here’s a goddamn toast to Murphy’s Law, the beloved message containing a gigantic ‘fuck you’ to whoever it was addressed to. __God,__ ” he muttered to himself, sliding the hand on his forehead down till it reached his chin.

“WHAT WERE YOU MUMBLING ABOUT, HUMAN? I HOPE THE PUZZLE WASN’T TOO DIFFICULT…ARE YOU HURT? I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SINCERELY APOLOGIZE!” Papyrus told them genuinely concerned for their well being. Frisk gave the tall skeleton two thumbs up to show that they were okay. Dave waved him off with a wry smile.

“Nah, dude. It’s alright, I was ready to take on the challenge anyway. It’s sort of my fault for underestimating the puzzle itself.”

Papyrus nodded slowly. “IF YOU’RE SURE.” He put a hand under his chin, rubbing it in thought. “STILL, I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU TWO.”

Dave shook his head. “Like I said, we’re fin- __mmph!__ ” His mouth was suddenly covered by a tiny hand. Surprisingly enough, it managed to clamp his mouth shut.

*****You tell Papyrus that it would be nice, but didn’t want to be a bother.** **

“NONSENSE!” Papyrus stated. “IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE! WE CAN DISCUSS THIS AT MY HOUSE, COME ON!” Quick as lightning, he took hold of Dave’s hand - gently, surprising the blond- and Frisk’s waist, before speeding off to the direction they once came.

Dave wouldn’t admit to screaming in part fright and part glee. No sir. Screaming? Where? Must have heard it back there, in Hotland was it? Haha, no screaming here. None. Nadah.

They came to stop upon a well decorated home, fit for Christmas. Dave admired the way the lights hung on the roof, and the friendly disposition the house displayed.

“HERE WE ARE, HUMANS! HOME! I HEREBY INVITE YOU TO COME INSIDE, DON’T BE SHY!” Papyrus welcomed them. Frisk tugged on his arm. “YES, WHAT IS IT, HUMAN?”

Frisk responded by putting a finger to their lips, pointing at Dave. Papyrus silenced himself immediately once he saw the look of awe Dave wore, though his shades obscured his face.

“Hey…Papyrus?”

“YES?”

Dave fished his phone out of his pocket again and held it up. “Mind if you stand in the middle with Frisk on your shoulders? This is a scene worth immortalizing.”

Papyrus looked at the strange - oh, that was a phone! Of course! “NO PROBLEM, HUMAN! HERE, LITTLE HUMAN,” the skeleton said, crouching down in front of Frisk. “HOP ONTO MY SHOULDERS? OH, THIS IS VERY EXCITING! THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS NEVER BEEN A MODEL FOR A PHOTO SHOOT BEFORE!”

Dave smiled, one of the rare smiles that showed not teeth, but just the slightest quirks of his lips. “Then let me give you the honor of being in one. Just act natural.”

Dave positioned his phone. “Yep, just like that. You guys are good.” A shutter clicked. “Nice. Wanna take more?”

Cue two vigorously nodding heads.

“’Kay, get into another position.”

**Author's Note:**

> Updates are either continuous or very, very wide paced. Rating may vary, as well.
> 
> The blog is at www.stuckunderground.tumblr.com , so if ya wanna ask the trio some other info, go ahead! Each character has their own secrets, of course. Up to you how you wanna crack the safe.
> 
> :D
> 
> WARNING: I'D LIKE TO ADD THAT I MESSED UP THE CANON FLOW OF EVENTS SO IT MAY SEEM A LITTLE TIME SKIPPY AND I APOLOGIZE. I rechecked the map and realized I missed a TON of events that followed and have tried to cover the plotholes as much as I could (this goes for snowdin because omg I butcherred up the puzzles by not INCLUDING them entirely.)
> 
> Rest assured, I'll fix it as much as I can with decent explanations and cutscenes and other nefarious plots but please understand that I've already written things thus far and I can't really take them back so I'm trying to connect it and add new stuff to make it logical. Sorry for the inconvenience though!


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